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    Choosing A Flavor Should Be A Piece Of Cake

    | Dublin, Ireland | Food & Drink

    *Me: “What can I get you?”
     
    Customer: “What flavors do you have?”
     
    Me: “They’re right on front of you–twenty flavors. What would you like?”
     
    (About five minutes pass.)
     
    Customer: “Can I have the Strawberry Cheesecake, but can you remove the cheesecake?”
     
    Me: “Sir, I can’t remove the cheesecake. It’s mixed in.”
     
    Customer: “Well, I like strawberry, but not cheesecake.”
     
    Me: “May I recommend strawberry flavor?”
     
    Customer: “Oh, no. The strawberry cheesecake sounds nicer.”

    Don’t Make A Rash Purchase

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I need a matte eye-shadow because I’m allergic to shiny.”
     
    Me: “Do you know what ingredient you’re allergic to in shiny eyeshadow?”
     
    Customer: “Shiny! You know, shiny! I’m very sensitive!”
     
    Me: “Well, our matte eye-shadows are here.”
     
    (I pull aside the testers for the few matte products we have.)
     
    Customer: “Can I try this one?”
     
    Me: “Sure!”
     
    (I go to get a disposable brush. When I turn around, the customer has her eyes closed and is holding the tester millimeters from her eye. She opens her eyes to see me staring at her holding out a brush.)
     
    Customer: “I’m not allergic. I can tell using muscle testing. I’m very sensitive! This is a good one! What other colors do you have?”
     
    (She spent the next 20 minutes holding various products ‘testing them’ and announcing everything she was allergic to.)

    Needs A Mass Reboot

    | Charleston, SC, USA | Religion, Technology

    (A customer walks up to the counter with a desktop and sets it down.)
     
    Customer: “Excuse me, are you Catholic?”
     
    Me: “No.”
     
    Customer: “Well, I think it’s possessed and it needs an exorcism. Do you have any Catholic workers?”
     
    Me: “I don’t think so. Maybe I can take a look at it?”
     
    Customer: “No! You have to be Catholic!” *takes his desktop and leaves*

    When Photos Are Exposed

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. We do not allow the use of photography in the museum.”
     
    Guest: “I wasn’t taking a photograph!” *shows me her phone*
     
    Me: “Sorry, the way you were holding your phone looked as if you were taking a photograph. Although not only did you take a photograph, but you saved it as your cell phone wallpaper and are currently showing it to me.”

    Hell In A Recycle Basket

    | Bloomington, IL, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Religion

    (A mom, dad, and their son walk out of a 3D movie and are throwing their 3D glasses into the recycling bin.)
     
    Son: “Can I keep my glasses?”
     
    Mother: “No, we have to recycle them.”
     
    Son: “What if I don’t?”
     
    Mother: “Uh, well…then you go to purgatory!”

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