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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Will Power On Aisle 2

    | Canada | Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

    Teenage girl: “Do you guys sell that contraceptive abstinence?”

    Me: “Abstinence?”

    Teenage girl: “Yeah! Abstinence! I read that it’s the only 100% way to not get pregnant!”

    Me: “That’s right. But, abstinence is to not have sex. Like abstain from.”

    Teenage girl: “Well, that just sucks!”

    I Now Pronounce You Employed

    | Michigan, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello sir, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hi, are you hiring?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is a family-run business. Is there something you wanted to eat?”

    Customer: “No. I wanted a job.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we cannot hire you. If you don’t want anything to eat, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We are very busy today.”

    (The customer leaves, frustrated. Not 10 minutes later, he returns.)

    Me: “Hello again, do you want something to eat now?”

    (The customer gets down on one knee.)

    Customer: “Will you marry me?”

    Me: “Sir, please stand up.”

    (Whole shop applauds.)

    Customer: “Please? It’s my only hope of getting a job!”

    Not Quite Up Their Alley

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

    Customer: “We would like to bowl on the lane next to our friends. They are on lane five.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. You are on lane 6.”

    Customer: “Where’s that?”

    Pray She Doesn’t Use Hemorrhoid Cream

    | Orland Park, IL, USA | Health & Body, Uncategorized

    Customer: “You changed the formulation of [day cream]. You should really tell customers when you do that!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we were not made aware of that change. How did you find out?”

    Customer: “Well it tastes different.”

    Me: “Tastes different? You tasted the product?”

    Customer: “Of course! I taste everything I put on my body!”

    Fishing For Intelligence

    | Ontario, Canada | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

    (At this time we are having a “fishing derby” where kids can bring fish in and we will measure them. The three biggest fish that have been caught have their measurements on a board.)

    Customer: “Are these fish measured in feet?”

    Me: “No, they are measured in inches.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “I’m positive considering the biggest according to the board would have to be 17 feet, and the only fish I can think of that can grow to be 17 feet long is a shark.”

    Customer: “You have sharks in this lake?!”

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