Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
    (1,921 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Tech Support, Tier 666

    | Willow Grove, PA, USA |

    (Sometimes I get very bored at work and decide to have fun with customers.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “My computer isn’t working at all. It seems that something is wrong with it.”

    Me: “Okay, let me see what I can do…”

    (I place my hands on the computer and in my best imitation of a televangelist.)

    Me: “IT IS HEALED! PRAISE THE LORD!”

    Customer: “Oh my God, really? Are you serious?! Thank you!”

    Me: “No, no I’m not.”

    Customer: *completely baffled*

    Me: “I hate my life.”

    Two Letters And A Hundred Stitches

    , | Philadelphia, PA, USA |

    (After helping a middle aged man find many CDs…)

    Customer: “Thank you… what’s your name?”

    Me: “Ryland.”

    Customer: “Thank you for your help, Ryan!”

    Me: “No, no. My name is Ryland.”

    Customer: “Ryland? What the h*** kind of name is that? You better watch out, you’re going to get attacked one day!”

    Airheaded, Part 3

    | Monroe, NC, USA |

    Manager: “May I help you?”

    Customer: “I would like to return these wind chimes. They don’t work.”

    Manager: “Okay, are they broken?”

    Customer: “No, they just don’t work.”

    Manager: “Well, where did you hang them?”

    Customer: “On my back porch.”

    Manager: “Well, they should work just fine there.”

    Customer: “They don’t… my husband and I sit on the porch and no there is no sound from the chimes!”

    Manager: “Is your porch screened in? That could reduce the wind.”

    Customer: “No, it’s glassed in…”

    Manager: “… I believe I know what the problem is.”

    Customer: “Can you fix it?”

    Manager: “No, but I can sell you a fan!”

    Related:
    Airheaded, Part 2
    Airheaded

    It’s Okay, That Character Was Tone Deaf Anyway

    | Birmingham, UK |

    (I’m working in a video rental store renting out Bollywood films when a customer asks about a particular film.)

    Customer: “Hi! Can you tell me if this is a good family film?”

    (He hands me a Bollywood film called Deewaar.)

    Me: “Not really. I mean, it’s got an 18 certificate rating on it, for starters.”

    Customer: “Oh. What is it about?”

    Me: “It’s about the son of an Indian POW in a prison camp in Pakistan who attempts to rescue him.”

    Customer: “Well, that can’t be a bad family film. Have you seen it?”

    Me: “Well, I watched a scene where the main character is fighting a bad guy on a train. He sticks his head out of the window and an incoming pole cuts his head off clean.”

    Customer: “… does it have good songs in the film?”

    Me: “…”

    (Note: Bollywood films mainly come with songs. Apparently, people just watch these films for the songs…)

    Sometimes, Even Yoda Isn’t Enough

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (A coworker and I are sitting in a fairly small booth at the gates of the swimming pool. A sign that reads ‘We Do Not Accept $100 Bills’ is placed right under the sign reading ‘No Refunds Due to Inclement Weather.’)

    Customer: “No refunds due to inclement weather, eh? What if it’s nice?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, very droll.”

    Customer: “Alright, it’s for me and my two kids.”

    (The customer attempts to pay with a hundred dollar bill for something that amounts to about $5.50.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t accept hundred dollar bills.”

    Customer: “But it’s all I have!”

    Me: “Well, I’m afraid we can’t accept hundred dollar bills. Do you have any debit or credit cards with you?”

    Customer: “No, but I have this hundred!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but we don’t accept hundred dollar bills.”

    Customer: “But it’s all I have!”

    (This repeats for about seven or eight times before I start varying it up a bit.)

    Me: “Bills hundred dollars accept we do not.”

    Customer: “But it’s all I have!”

    Me: “Dollar bills, hundred accept not we do!”

    Customer: “But it’s all I have!”


    Page 1,724/1,968First...1,7221,7231,7241,7251,726...Last