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    When ‘Geography For Dummies’ Is A Step Up

    | Bangor, ME, USA |

    (A customer called to check on the status of a mail order she mailed a week prior. I mentioned that mail orders are sent to Albany, NY.)

    Customer: “Where are you?”

    Me: “I am in Bangor, Maine.”

    Customer: “Oh. Is that in New York?”

    Me: “No. It’s… Bangor, Maine.” pause “Bangor is a city in the state of Maine.”

    Customer: “Really? Where is Maine?”

    Me: “It’s northeast of New York. It is the most northeastern state in the country. It borders New Hampshire to the east.”

    Customer: “It borders what?”

    Me: “New Hampshire.” *long pause* “New Hampshire is also a state.”

    Customer: “…huh. Never heard of it.”

    The Law Of The South Paw

    | Denmark |

    (I was scanning in the next customer’s items when this occurred.)

    Customer: “You’re doing it wrong.”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “You’re scanning my things in wrong.”

    Me: “No, it’s done correctly. Every time the item is scanned it says beep.”

    Customer: “But you’re left-handed.”

    Me: “Yes, I am. Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “I’m right-handed. I don’t want my things scanned in by a lefty! Undo it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t un-scan all your items, and re-scan them with my right hand.”

    Customer: “God, are you a cripple or something?”

    Me: “No, but there are other customers waiting.”

    Customer: “FINE! I’ll pay with a check.”

    (She gets out her checkbook, and starts writing with her left hand. Another customer in line speaks up.)

    Customer #2: “Didn’t she say she was right-handed?”

    (The woman looks up, and then at her left hand.)

    Customer: “Are you stupid? This is right!”

    The Outer Limits Of Entertainment

    | Chandler, AZ, USA |

    Customer: “Two for ‘Ice Age’, please.”

    Me: “No problem. Did you want the 3-D showing at 2:15, or the regular, 2-D showing at 2:50?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “…thirty-five minutes, and a dimension.”

    Infinitely Loopy But Happy As A Clam

    | New Hampshire, USA |

    Me: “[Convenience store], how can I help you? ”

    Caller: “Just wondering…what’s the soup special today?”

    Me: “Clam chowder, sir. ”

    Caller: “Are there any other soups or stews on?”

    Me: “Not today, sir.”

    Caller: “But do you have any soup or stew on special besides clam chowder today?”

    Me: “Nope, just clam chowder. That’s our only soup special today.”

    Caller: “But what about any other hot liquid foods? Any of those besides clam chowder?”

    Me: “No, sir, just the chowder.”

    Caller: “What’s your name?”

    Me: “Lily, sir.”

    Caller: “Lily, that’s a nice name. I’m Tim. I’m wondering if you have any soups on special today besides clam chowder?”

    Me: “No, Tim, just the chowder.”

    Caller: “Okay, thank you!” *hangs up*

    (Not surprisingly, the phone rings again about a minute later.)

    Me: “[Convenience store], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “May I speak to Lily, please?”

    Me: “This is Lily.”

    Caller: “Hi Lily, it’s Tim. Do you have any soups besides clam chowder on special today?”

    Me: “…”

    Related:
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2
    Laziness Is The Father Of Repetition

    Ired By Shire Attire

    , | Montreal, Canada |

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me choose which suit I should get?”

    Me: “Certainly. This model here was worn by actor Sean Astin.”

    Customer: “Who is that?”

    Me: “He played in The Lord of the Rings. He was one of the hobbits.”

    Customer: “You sell to hobbits!?”

    Me: “Well, he’s not re–”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t sell to hobbits!”

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