Baaaad Hearing And Maaaad Rearing

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer and her daughter walk up to me while I’m putting up items on a shelf. Her daughter looks about 7 years old. I am well known for doing very well with young children around her age.)

Customer: “Could you help me find something my child needs for a project she’s doing?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I turn toward the customer’s daughter, who is holding a piece of her project.)

Me: “Whatcha’ got there, kiddo?”

Customer: “Don’t call my child a goat!”

Me: “Beg your pardon?”

Customer: “You heard me! You called my daughter a kid, which is a goat! My child is not an animal!” *storms out with daughter in tow*

Going From Positive To Negative

, | Singapore | Top

(This happens after I help an old lady with a home theater system for over an hour and a half, explaining every little detail and giving her a demo.)

Customer: “Thank you very much, young lady. I’m sorry for taking too much of your time.”

Me: “You’re welcome. No worries. It’s my pleasure to help you.”

Customer: “I know some of my questions are stupid, but you are very patient.”

Me: “Not a problem at all. Some of these things can be very confusing, even for myself, and I work here!”

Customer: “I should give a compliment letter about you.”

Me: “Wow, thanks very much. You can do that at the cashier. Oh, by the way–the remote control doesn’t have any batteries. Should we go get them now? It will save you a trip.”

Customer: “That’s a great idea!”

(We proceed to go to the battery section of the store.)

Me: “So, here we are, you need two AAs.”

Customer: “Do you have the [brand] ones?”

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry. I think we just ran out. We have other brands though. Would you like to try?”

Customer: “You and your f***ing store! I’ve never received such terrible service! This is the reason why people don’t go back here! I will have you fired! You will never work again!”

Me: *speechless*

Do-It-Yourself Rewards Club

| California, USA | Books & Reading

Caller: “I need you to send me a few books.”

Me: “Sure, which books…”

(I take the names of about ten products and the shipping address.)

Me: “Alright, and what kind of credit card will you be using today?”

Caller: “Credit card? You’re not seriously going to charge me for all this?”

Me: “Well–”

Caller: “Look, I spend a lot of money with you people. The least you can do is ship me some free stuff every now and then! Just write it off on your taxes next year!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that–”

Caller: “Never mind. Cancel the order!”

Free Karma With Purchase

| Hamlin, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Top

(I have just clocked out. I am in the employee break room gathering my things to leave, when a customer comes barging in.)

Customer: “Excuse me! There is a line of fifty people out here! We need you to open your register!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m clocked out and don’t have a drawer in. I’m sorry, but she’s doing the best she can right now.”

Customer: “Well that’s just ridiculous! I need to get checked out!”

(The customer leaves the employee break room to go back in line and rant to her companion.)

Customer: “Can you believe it? She’s clocked out! This is ridiculous!”

(Upon seeing that there is in fact a longer line, I grab a drawer and open a register while still clocked out. After I check out five or so people, the woman comes back over, bags in hand.)

Customer: “Well, THANK YOU.”

(Another customer, who had been standing behind her the whole time, approaches me with a smile.)

Another customer: “I’m currently disabled and don’t have my crutches, so standing is excruciating, but I’m going to take my time. I’m blocking that b**** in, and I want to make her wait!”

Justice Is (Self) Served

| Attleboro, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

(This occurred approximately 4-5 years ago, but continues to be a favorite to tell the newbies. There are four concession stand workers and we are all on one side of the stand talking late one night.)

Me: *returning from other side* “Hey guys, did we remove the salted pretzel from the display?”

Coworker #1: “Not that I know of.”

Coworker #2: “Yeah, that’s weird. Maybe the manager knows.”

(She finds our manager.)

Coworker #2: “Did you get rid of the pretzel display model?”

Manager: “No.”

Coworker #1: “You don’t think someone stole it do you?”

Coworker #2: “No, that would be stupid!”

(Then, we see a teen wandering the lobby looking a little bewildered, munching on a pretzel.)

Me: “Um…did you get that pretzel from the case there?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “That is a display model only. It has been there for a year and a half. It’s also been treated with shellac.”

(The customer takes a bite.)

Customer: *muffled* “Tastes pretty good to me!”

(The customer wanders off unsteadily and we all stare in utter shock.)

Manager: “Keep an eye on him. He’s probably going to be violently sick.”

Page 1,722/2,743First...1,7201,7211,7221,7231,724...Last