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    Brokers With Chokers

    , | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Uncategorized

    (We sell all types of insurance, including bonds. I am on the phone to a customer.)

    Caller: “Do you guys do bondage there?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. However, the gentleman that handles that is all tied up at the moment.”

    Customer: “Oh. Haha. Um…yeah.”

    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 5

    | Simsbury, CT, USA | Uncategorized

    (My store has a trivia question posted every day for customers to answer. The question reads, ‘How many time zones span across Russia?’)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Is the answer to the question ‘1’?

    Me: “No, sorry.”

    Customer: “Well, how many are there, then?”

    Me: “There are 11 time zones.”

    Customer: “Really? I thought there was only 1 time zone in the world!”

    Related:
    No Aptitude Vocation For Location, Part 2
    No Aptitude For Latitude, Part 2
    No Vocation For Location
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 4
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2
    No Fortitude For Longitude
    No Aptitude For Latitude

    Wait In Line, Parish The Thought

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Top

    (A customer comes up to the front of a long checkout line.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you have to go to the back of the line or go to another line to purchase. There is already a line here.”

    Customer: “I have to checkout now! I have to go to church in 5 minutes!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you have to wait. You could also come back and get your toy after your service.”

    Customer: “I have to checkout now! I bet you’re just some heathen who wants me to miss church!”

    (A customer who is also a priest comes up to the front.)

    Priest: “Ma’am, going to church will not make you a better Christian. Shouting something as hateful as ‘heathen’ to this sweet lady certainly won’t help either.”

    Customer: “She won’t check me out so I can go to church! She obviously is not Christian.”

    Priest: “Ma’am, just please go to the back of the line, or leave. Nobody wants to hear your hateful comments to such a sweet woman. She might not be Christian, but she sure gives a lot more respect to people than you do.”

    Customer: *huffs* “Fine! But when God sends his fire upon both of you, you’ll be sorry!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    | WA, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Why didn’t my order go through?”

    Me: “It looks like your card declined due to insufficient funds.”

    Customer: “Well, yeah. But I fail to see how that’s my problem.”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 11
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 10
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 9
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 7

    , | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello, you’re through to [insurance company]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “I need a quote for home insurance.”

    Me: “No problem. The quote can take up to 15 minutes. Do you have the time?”

    Customer: “Yes, it’s 11:15. Why?”

    Me: “Uh… what?”

    Customer: “It’s 11:15. Don’t you have a clock?”

    Related:
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 6
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 5
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 4
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 3
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 2
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call

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