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    From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 4

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

    (A few of us employees had just made a cup of ‘heart-stopper’, popcorn with way too much butter and salt, between shows. A mother and her son walk up to the counter.)

    Son: “What’s that?”

    Me: “We call it the heart-stopper.”

    Son: “Can I try some?”

    Me: “That’s up to your mom.”

    (She gives consent and the kid really likes it and starts eating several pieces.)

    Me: “Hey, slow down or you’ll wake up fat tomorrow morning!”

    Son: “Woah! Is that what happened to you?”

    From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 3
    From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2
    From The Mouth Of Babes

    Not Quite Getting To Beirut Of The Matter

    | Sydney, Australia | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Uncategorized

    (An elderly man, his son and a nurse stop by the hospital cafe. The man is looking at the soft drinks in the fridge.)

    Man: “I want a lemonade!”

    Me: “Are you allowed to have lemonade?” *to son* “Isn’t he diabetic?”

    Son: “No, he’s Lebanese.”

    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 2

    | New Jersey, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

    Caller: “Do you have a stylist who specializes in blonde hair?”

    Me: “We have several expert colorists, yes. Would you like to make an appointment?”

    Caller: “Oh, I’m not looking for a colorist! Just someone who knows how to cut blonde hair.”

    Makes You Want To Dye A Little

    Intelligence Doesn’t Grow On Trees

    | Maryland, USA | Holidays, Uncategorized

    (A couple is price shopping for their tree.)

    Customer: “How do you figure out the price of the tree?”

    Me: “We count the needles and divide by a thousand.”

    Customer: “Well, that makes sense.”

    Me: “Yeah, it takes a really long time to do each morning.”

    Customer: “You’re BSing me, aren’t you?”

    Me: “Yes sir, I am.”

    Customer’s A Real Dodo

    | Fresno, CA, USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell any extinct fish?”

    (I pause to see if she is messing with me, but she is serious.)

    Me: “No, sorry. They are really hard to come by.”

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