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    Circular Calls

    | PA, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hi, does your phone number still work?”

    Me: “Well, you’re taking to me…so yes.”

    Beyond Even The Power Of Pixel Dust, Part 2

    | Melbourne, Australia | Uncategorized

    (An elderly lady comes in with a very blurry and old photo she wants made bigger.)

    Customer: “This is a photo of my son. He was in a band in the 80’s! I want it made bigger!”

    Me: “Madam, this photo is very damaged, blurry and old. It’s probably better that you get it just the standard size so you won’t notice the loss of quality so much.”

    Customer: “What do you mean it’s no good? This photo is a good photo! I want it about A4 size!”

    Me: “Okay. Do you happen to have the negative?”

    Customer: “No, it never had a negative. It was taken with a digital camera!”

    Me: “It must have a negative. They didn’t have digital camera’s in the 80’s.”

    Customer: “Yes they did! It was digitised!”

    Me: “Okay, madam. I will just use this photo and make it bigger for you. It’ll take me about an hour to get it done. But I am just letting you know that the quality will be very bad.”

    Customer: “It will look good, don’t you worry. That’s my son! He always looks good!”

    Beyond Even The Power Of Pixel Dust

    Your Query Is In Arrears

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Is Ricky the front end supervisor?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well, he is no good! If Ricky is the front end supervisor, is there a rear end supervisor?”

    Driving You Crazy

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Top

    (A teenage customer comes up to our parts counter.)

    Customer: “I need brakes for my car.”

    Me: “No problem. What kind of car is it?”

    Customer: “A Honda.”

    Me: “Okay, what model?”

    (She sighs dramatically and then whips out her cell.)

    Customer: “Daddy, what model is my Honda?” *hangs up* “Civic.”

    (I try to catch her before she hangs up.)

    Me: “Is that a DX, EX or LX?”

    Customer: “God!” *dials again* “Daddy, is that a DX or whatever? No, I drove it today.” *to me* “He says it’s an LX.”

    Me: “Standard or automatic?”

    Customer: *starts dialing*

    Me: “Ma’am, if your car is here, I can come out and look this information up so you don’t have to.”

    Customer: “Nah, I don’t want you to have to go to all that trouble!”

    (She discovers it is an automatic, and hangs up again.)

    Me: “Last question. Is that a 2-door or 4-door?”

    Customer: “Sheesh!”

    (She dials her phone, and repeats the question.)

    Customer: “Oh.” *looks sheepish* “That was a really stupid question, wasn’t it?”

    Believing In a Fare God

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Uncategorized

    (I often help out with going up and down the aisles with the collection basket. A patron puts a twenty in the basket and then stops me.)

    Me: “I have to get this up to the front, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Yes, yes. Just one moment.”

    (She is rooting around in the collection basket while I stand there.)

    Me: “Sorry, what are you doing?”

    Customer: “I need change for the bus.”

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