Ink Isn’t The Only Thing Running Low

, | Location undisclosed |

Customer: “Whenever I try to print my statement from your website, it always comes out really light. I don’t have this problem with other websites. Are you guys out of ink?”

Me: “No. Are you using your home computer?”

Customer: “Yes. I already called the ink cartridge company. They said it’s not their fault.”

Me: “Well, if you’re trying to print at home, it’s a problem with your home computer. Our printers are working just fine.”

Customer: “So, you’re not out of ink?”

Me: “No. Maybe you should have someone look at your computer’s settings.”

Customer: “Should I call the ink cartridge company again?”

Me: “I don’t think that will fix it.”

Customer: “Okay. I’ll call the ink cartridge company again. Thanks! Bye!”

How You Know You’ve Been Working Too Long

, | London, UK | Top

(The customer is apparently employed at another branch of the same fast food chain.)

Customer: “I’d like a [burger] meal with lemonade, please.”

Me: “That’s one [burger] meal with lemonade?”

Customer: “Would you like to go large with that?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Oh! I mean, yes. Thank you.”

You’re Watching The Braille Channel

| Preston, Lancashire, UK |

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “The problem is you sent me a blind person’s television!”

Me: “Pardon me, sir?”

Customer: “You heard me! A television you sell to blind people!”

Me: “I am sorry, nothing like that exists. Are you sure the TV is not just faulty?”

Customer: “I don’t care what’s wrong with it! All I know is I am not blind!”

Now I (Don’t) Know My ABCs

| Oregon, USA |

Me: “I just need you to type in ‘Http’.”

Caller:“Hptp?”

Me: “H like hotel, t like tom, t like tom, p like papa.”

Caller: “Htcp?”

Me: “Almost. H like hotel, T like Tom, T like Tom, P like Papa.”

Caller: “Chtc?”

Me: “Our connection must be rough.” *very slowly* “H like hoooteeel, T like Tommm, T like Tommm, P like Paaapaaa.”

Caller: “Oh! Ghtc!”

Me: “Let me send you a link.”

Short Changing Your Mind

| New Zealand | Top

Me: “Hello, sir.”

Customer: “I want tobacco.”

Me: “What type?”

Customer: “Tobacco for smoking. I want five packets.”

Me: “Okay, that’s $144.”

Customer: “Can you make it $150? I only have fifties.”

Me: “We do have change.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want change.”

Me: “Okay, then…that’s $150.”

(The customer starts to leave, but suddenly turns around and faces me.)

Customer: “Where’s my change, b****?!”

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