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  • Raise A Broken Glass To That Employee
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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    No Holding Back

    | Webster, NY, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology, Uncategorized

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company] support, can I have your employee ID number, please?”

    Caller: “Yeah, can you put me on hold?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “I called before and complained about the awful hold music you guys use. I want to see if you changed it.”

    Me: “Hold on just a minute.”

    (I put the caller on hold for a minute.)

    Me: “Hello, are you still there ma’am?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I’m here.”

    Me: “So is the hold music any less awful?”

    Caller: “No, not really. Thanks.” *click*

    Heartless & Toothless

    | Wisconsin Rapids, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Religion, Uncategorized

    (I am ringing up an older female customer’s order which includes several name brand toothbrushes. They ring up at $3.50.)

    Customer: “Those toothbrushes should be 99 cents and buy-one-get-one-free!”

    Me: “That price was actually for the store brand ones that were located right under these. The sale tag is displayed right above the item.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want them, then. They were for the homeless at my church, and they don’t need toothbrushes if they cost that much!”

    Intelligence Goes Into The Trash Can

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

    Customer: “I had something typed up that I was going to send you. Tell me, how do you find a file that you’ve lost on your computer? I know it’s on here somewhere, but I can’t find it.”

    Me: “Oh, well, go to the upper right hand corner–”

    Customer: “I’ve tried that! I couldn’t find the file!”

    Me: “Hmm. Do you remember what the file name was?”

    Customer: “I don’t think it had a file name!”

    Me: “Well, did you save it as ‘Untitled’, then?”

    Customer: “I don’t think I saved it…”

    Should Have Paid Attention In School

    | Illinois, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Uncategorized

    (A customer places shoe boxes on the counter and stares at me.)

    Me: “All set then?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes. School.”

    Me: *slightly confused* “Uh, yeah! Yeah I can’t believe school is starting already!”

    Customer: *chuckles* “Heh… yeah. School.”

    Me: *more puzzled* “Yeah, I know. So soon!”

    Customer: “Where’s my 20% off?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Your website said if that if I said the word school in your store I get 20% off my purchase.”

    Me: “I don’t think you read correctly, ma’am. We don’t have any sort of sale like that going on.”

    Customer: “It says that if I say school I get a discount!”

    Me: “I think you were supposed to text school and get a coupon code sent to your phone.”

    Customer: “Well, school. Now give me my 20%.”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I just can’t do that. We’re not running that kind of sale.”

    Customer: “Well you should fix the internet, then! This is ridiculous!”

    You’ll Have To Connect At Baked Alaska

    | London, UK | Funny Names, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

    Me: “Hi, would you like to buy a ticket?”

    Customer: “Yes, when is your next flight to Oregano?”

    Me: “Oregano?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it’s in America. I think it’s a state?”

    (On my computer, I find the Wikipedia page for Oregano.)

    Customer: “Oh…I’m not dumb, I swear…”

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