An Abbreviation Abberation

| Humboldt, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I’ve just finished making a sandwich for a customer. I am new at this, so he double checks what I do.)

Customer: “Did you forget anything?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “Are you sure? You remembered the cucumbers and turkey?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “And the lettuce?”

Me: “And the tomatoes, pickles, mustard and mayo, sir. It’s written on the–”

Customer: “Mayo? What the h*** is that? And you left out the mayonnaise! Why did you do that?”

Me: “But, that’s what I said.”

Customer: “No! You said mayo! That’s not what I wanted!”

Me: “I put in mayonnaise. Mayo is just an abbreviation.”

Customer: “Abbreviation? What’s that, some kind of fruit?”

The Very Social Network

| MI, USA | Uncategorized

(I am trying to help an elderly couple get on the internet.)

Me: “Okay. Go ahead and see if you are able to connect.”

Customer: “I can’t. It says that I am not connected to any networks.”

Me: “That’s odd. I can see you on the network.”

Customer: *amazed* “You can see me?”

Me: “Yes, I can see you.”

Customer: *shocked* “Wow, she can see me!”

Customer’s husband: *in the background* “Well, put some clothes on woman!”

Raisin Wine Awareness

| TX, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer comes up to the counter, and looks at a bottle of wine we’re sampling.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s a tempranillo.”

Customer: “What is a ‘temper-nillo’?”

Me: “It’s a red grape from Spain.”

(The customer picks up the sample cup, and looks at it in confusion.)

Customer: “This is a grape? I could’ve sworn this was wine.” *knocks sample back* “How about that!”

About To Kick The Can

| Mount Vernon, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Good afternoon. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. I was wondering how I can delete stuff from my trash bin?”

Me: “That’s an easy fix. Just right click on the icon, and click ‘empty recycling bin’. Got that?”

Customer: *clicking noise* “Okay. Now, how do I get them back?”

Their Question Speaks Volumes

| Rockwall, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Welcome! How may I help you?”

Customer: “How much will I save if I ask really loudly to have this laminated?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “The sign in the window says you give ‘large volume discounts’.”

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