Me: “Hello, [bakery], [my name] speaking. How can I help you?”
Customer: “I have a complaint about the cake you guys made for me.”
Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir. What was the problem?”
Customer: “It melted.”
Me: “Sir, did you purchase an ice cream cake?”
Customer: “Yes, and it melted when I left it on my counter last night.”
Me: “Sir, ice cream cake is made out of ice cream and will melt if you don’t keep it in the freezer.”
Customer: “This is not acceptable. I do not baby my cakes!”
(I am a floral associate at a grocery store. It’s a very hot day and I am outside watering the outdoor plants we have on sale.)
Customer: *storms up to me* “What the f*** do you think you’re doing?!”
Me: “Excuse me?” *still watering*
Customer: “Are you f***ing stupid or something?”
Me: “No, why would you say that?”
Customer: “You’re watering those things. Only a f***ing idiot would do that!”
Me: “Ma’am, these plants need water. It’s very hot out today and we can’t let them die.”
Customer: “Well, I’m right. You are a f***ing idiot. Everyone knows plants make their own water!”
(The customer then storms off to her car and nearly hits another car in her rush to leave.)
Water You, Stupid
(We have a daily special where everything in the bar is $4. There are huge signs everywhere advertising this. I have this conversation at least twice a week.)
Customer: “How much is a vodka lime?”
Me: “$4. Everything is $4.”
Customer: “Really? So, how much is a tequila shot?”
Me: “$4. Everything is $4.”
Customer: “Even Jäger?”
Me: “If it’s alcohol, then it’s $4.”
Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll have a gin.” ”
Customer: “Is that $4 too?”
Me: “Thank you for calling [airline]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “What time will flight [number] to [city] arrive?”
(I look up the flight in the system, which shows that it’s expected to arrive right about now.)
Me: “That flight is expected to arrive at [time].”
Caller: “Well, I’m calling from the plane, and we’re not landing yet.”
Me: “If you’re on the plane, you probably have more up-to-date information than I do. One of the flight attendants should be able to tell you when you’ll arrive.”
Caller: “I have to go. The flight attendants are yelling at me for talking on my cell phone!”
(The call abruptly ends.)
As part of our ongoing Facebook page launch celebration, we’ll be giving away a total of 10 copies of the official Not Always Right book.
Note: Next week’s drawing will be our last, so be sure to like our page before 12:01 am PST on Monday, August 8, 2011 to qualify!
To enter into our weekly drawing, simply like our Facebook page and you’ll automatically be entered. Two winners will be announced each week on our site, FB, and Twitter.
The winners of this week’s Facebook Page Book Giveaway are Xander and Heather — congratulations! They’ll each receive a free copy of our book via Amazon. Xander and Heather — a Not Always Right staff member will be contacting you soon via Facebook so you can receive your book.
PS – if you liked our page before the announcement of this contest, you’re already qualified — anyone who likes our page will automatically be entered!