November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Tag, You’re President

| Germany | Uncategorized

(I am helping out during the election in our region. A middle-aged man approaches the table to get his ballot papers.)

Voter: “Hey, who should I vote for?”

Me: “That’s your decision. Voting is about making your opinion heard.”

Voter: “I don’t know!”

(He waits for some time with his papers in hand before he enters a booth. He doesn’t come out for a few minutes. I am about to kindly ask him to hurry up.)

Voter: “Hey, can someone say ‘stop’, please?”

(The other voters snicker. A young woman looks at me. I shrug.)

Woman: “Stop!”

Voter: “Thanks! Once more, please!”

Woman: “Stop!”

(The man exits the booth and puts his ballot into the ballot box.)

Woman: *amused* “Got a good vote there?”

Voter: “Yes, thank you! This ‘making your opinion heard’ stuff is really hard!” *beams at everyone* “Well, I’ve done my duty now! It feels good!”

Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

| Simsbury, CT, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I need something without coffee in it.”

Me: “Ok, what would you like?”

Customer: “Can I have a large mocha?”

Me: “That has coffee in it, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, it doesn’t. It says espresso on the board.”

Me: “Espresso is coffee.”

Customer: “All this time I’ve been drinking coffee!? No wonder I haven’t been able to sleep!”

Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself
Espresso Yourself Can Cause A Latte Problems

Never Out Of Laughing Stock

| UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “How much for [item]?”

Me: “£15.”

Customer: “The guy round the corner does them for thirteen.”

Me: “Well, why didn’t you buy one from him, then?”

Customer: “He’s out of stock.”

Me: “Well, when we’re out of stock, we only charge ten.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll come back when you’re out of stock, then.”

Customer Vs Cook: The Heat Is On

, | Atlanta, GA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey! This burger is too damn hot!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it will cool down over time. Just wait a little while.”

Customer: “I want to eat it now! Why the h*** would you make it too hot to eat? Make me another one and don’t make it so hot this time!”

(He slams his burger down on the counter and stomps away. I don’t touch it, as I have to take care of the next couple of customers. A moment later, I call out to the customer.)

Me: “Sir, your burger is ready.”

(The customer comes back up, picks up the burger that hasn’t been moved since he put it down, and takes a bite.)

Customer: “There we go, much better. Don’t make them so d*** hot anymore. This one’s great!”

How Much Is That Human In The Window

| Dublin, Ireland | Uncategorized

(A customer walks in while I am in the shop window redecorating it.)

Customer: “Hi, I would like to know how much the girl in the window is?”

Coworker: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “The girl in the window. I want to buy her.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but she is a staff member. Plus, I also think it’s illegal to sell people.”

Customer: “Then why is she on the window?!”

Coworker: “You’re joking, right?”

Customer: “No, I want her. I need a new cleaner.”