Ignoring The Signs

| Duluth, MN, USA | Uncategorized

(Note that I wear hearing aides, but I don’t understand more than one phrase of sign language. However, I do quite well if someone is facing me.)

Me: “Are you finding everything okay?”

Customer: “Actually I need some help. I’m looking for–” *turns away while mumbling*

Me: “Ma’am, can you face me and repeat that? I have a minor hearing problem, and you won’t have to repeat yourself so much if you face me.”

Customer: “Oh! Would signing be easier?”

Me: “Actually, I don’t speak a word of sign, so if–”

Customer: *signs*

Me: “Ma’am, I actually don’t–”

Customer: *continues signing*

Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t understand what you’re saying. If you could please just tell me what you need, I can help you easier.”

Customer: *still signing and not saying a word*

Me: *in sign language* “I don’t understand sign language.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

Sandwich Privileges Now Revoked

| Berkeley, CA, USA | Food & Drink

(A customer has just ordered a sandwich and has moved over to stand near the pickup counter.)

Me: “Medium mocha on the bar!”

Customer: “Is this my sandwich?”

Me: “Um, no. Large latte!”

Customer: “Is this my sandwich?”

Me: “Still no.”

Log On To The Clueless Wide Web

| Utah, USA | Technology

Caller: “My Outlook isn’t working anymore. When I put my password in, it doesn’t log me in.”

Me: “Are you able to access your email using web-access for our email system?”

Caller: “What’s that?”

(This is forgivable. Oftentimes, professors don’t know that they can access their work email using a website as well.)

Me: “Okay, well, if you just go to [site.domain.edu] and enter your credentials–”

Caller: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s the URL of the web access client. Just open your internet browser and type it in–”

Caller: “What’s an internet browser?”

Me: “It’s the program you use to access the internet.”

Caller: “What’s the internet?”

Me: *speechless*

A Liberal In The Hand Is Worth Two In The Bush

| Mountain View, CA, USA | Politics

(While I’m working, a woman comes up to rent a liberal leaning movie. In an attempt to make small talk, I mention that I’m not that into politics, but I really enjoy watching Rachel Maddow’s show on MSNBC.)

Customer: “Who is that?”

Me: “She’s a liberal newscaster.”

Customer: “Oh…well, I’d have to watch 2 hours of Fox just to make up for watching that! I don’t want to get unbalanced!”

A Dick By Any Other Name

| New Jersey, USA | Rude & Risque

Me: “May I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “When your order is ready to be collected, we call you by name.”

Customer: “I’m not giving you my name!”

Me: “Well, give me a name that we can refer to you by.”

Customer: “I’m not giving you my name!”

Me: “It doesn’t have to be your real name. I just need a name we can announce over the speaker so you know when to pick up your order.”

Customer: “Why would I respond to a name that’s not mine?”

Me: “Well, give us something that we can call you by.”

Customer: “Then, how would I remember that’s me?”

Me: “You can write it down.”

Customer: “Okay, call me Dick. I’m pretty sure I can remember that. I’ll be holding mine until you call.”

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