November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Banking Error

| Malaysia | Top

Me: “Here’s your new bank card. You will be able to change your PIN number at the ATM.”

Customer: “PIN number is a redundant phrase. It’s like ‘personal identification number’, number. You work in a bank. You ought to know that by now.”

Me: “You’re right, sir.”

Customer: *smirks* “I’m always right. So, where’s the ATM machine?”

Patronising Patron

| Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi there. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “A black coffee and a bacon roll, please.”

Me: *repeating order as I write it* “Black coffee and a bacon roll. Okay!”

Customer: “Oh, well done.”

(I begin to write crispy under ‘bacon roll’ on the ticket.)

Customer: “Oh! I mean the bacon roll well done, not you!” *nervous laughter*

Me: “Of course! Extra crispy bacon.”

Customer: “Not that you aren’t doing a good job, of course! I just meant… you know. Thank you, and well done!”

Humor Isn’t Just Skin Deep

| Stockport, UK | Uncategorized

Me:” Hi, how are you? Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a protective foreskin for my phone.”

(There is a slight pause and we both burst out laughing.)

Me: “I think I know what you mean. They’re just over here.”

No One Is Stealing That ID

| KY, USA | Uncategorized

(A man walks up to me at the circulation desk.)

Customer: “I need to get on the computer.”

Me: “No problem, sir. May I see your ID?”

Customer: “Where’s your bathroom?”

Me: *pointing* “Right down that hall, second grey door
on the left.”

Customer: “You don’t mind if I go there to get my ID out, do you?”

Well, It Sure Beats Atkins

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer emails in a query regarding one of our products.)

Customer: “If it were a matter of life or death, could I eat this product? If so, what would happen? The label says ‘safe & non-toxic’, yet it also says ‘do not eat’. This seems contradictory. Please clarify ASAP. I’m starving.”

Me: “You would have to contact the manufacturer of the item. I recommend that you should not eat anything that says ‘safe & non-toxic’ because this could be referring to biodegradable elements of this product, and should not be used for dietary nutrition. I hope you find something else to eat.”