Featured Story:
  • A Total Brazil Nut
    (1,465 thumbs up)
  • April Theme Of The Month: Losing My Religion!
    Submit your story today!

    Wait In Line, Parish The Thought

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Top

    (A customer comes up to the front of a long checkout line.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you have to go to the back of the line or go to another line to purchase. There is already a line here.”

    Customer: “I have to checkout now! I have to go to church in 5 minutes!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you have to wait. You could also come back and get your toy after your service.”

    Customer: “I have to checkout now! I bet you’re just some heathen who wants me to miss church!”

    (A customer who is also a priest comes up to the front.)

    Priest: “Ma’am, going to church will not make you a better Christian. Shouting something as hateful as ‘heathen’ to this sweet lady certainly won’t help either.”

    Customer: “She won’t check me out so I can go to church! She obviously is not Christian.”

    Priest: “Ma’am, just please go to the back of the line, or leave. Nobody wants to hear your hateful comments to such a sweet woman. She might not be Christian, but she sure gives a lot more respect to people than you do.”

    Customer: *huffs* “Fine! But when God sends his fire upon both of you, you’ll be sorry!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

    | WA, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Why didn’t my order go through?”

    Me: “It looks like your card declined due to insufficient funds.”

    Customer: “Well, yeah. But I fail to see how that’s my problem.”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 11
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 10
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 9
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 7

    , | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello, you’re through to [insurance company]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “I need a quote for home insurance.”

    Me: “No problem. The quote can take up to 15 minutes. Do you have the time?”

    Customer: “Yes, it’s 11:15. Why?”

    Me: “Uh… what?”

    Customer: “It’s 11:15. Don’t you have a clock?”

    Related:
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 6
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 5
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 4
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 3
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 2
    It’s Gonna Be A Long Call

    Always A Barista, Never A Bride

    | Hillsboro, OR, USA | Uncategorized

    (An older gentleman comes in to order his coffee. He is a regular customer and a lot of times his wife will come in with him, but today she is running late.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Just coffee.”

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be a $1.50.”

    Customer: “Are you somebody’s bride?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “You know, a wife. Are you somebody’s wife?”

    Me: “Not last time I checked, no.”

    Customer: “Because I need a bride to warm my hands on and mine is nowhere to be found.”

    Me: “Oh. Let’s hope she gets here soon, then.”

    Right-Click, Wrong-Click, Part 2

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Sir, to configure the modem I need you to clear your desktop. Right-click on ‘networking’, and then select ‘properties’.”

    Customer: “It turned blue. I don’t see ‘properties’. Now what?”

    Me: “You don’t see a selection menu?”

    Customer: “No, the icon just turned blue.”

    Me: “Ah, I see. I need you to right-click on the icon.”

    Customer: “I am right-clicking! Nothing is happening.”

    Me: “Are you sure you are right-clicking?”

    Customer: “Yes! I am right-clicking. As compared to what, wrong-clicking?!”

    Me: “No, sir. As compared to left-clicking.”

    (There is a noticeable silence.)

    Customer: “Oh.”

    Related:
    Right-Click, Wrong-Click

    Page 1,702/2,600First...1,7001,7011,7021,7031,704...Last