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    Taking A Gamble

    | Toronto, ON, Canada |

    Customer: “Recommend the movie I am thinking of!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “You heard me. Are you deaf? Recommend the movie that I am thinking of!”

    (I reach over and put my hand on her head.)

    Customer:CASINO!”

    Train Trick-ets

    | Paris, France |

    (At the ticket booth in a Paris subway station.)

    Customer: *in very bad French* “Je voudrais deux billets, s’il vous plaît.”(I would like two tickets, please.)

    Me: *taking two tickets from a drawer* “Voilà!” (Here you go.)

    Customer: “Voilà? I saw you take them out of the drawer!”

    Banking Error

    | Malaysia | Top

    Me: “Here’s your new bank card. You will be able to change your PIN number at the ATM.”

    Customer: “PIN number is a redundant phrase. It’s like ‘personal identification number’, number. You work in a bank. You ought to know that by now.”

    Me: “You’re right, sir.”

    Customer: *smirks* “I’m always right. So, where’s the ATM machine?”

    Patronising Patron

    | Scotland, UK |

    Me: “Hi there. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “A black coffee and a bacon roll, please.”

    Me: *repeating order as I write it* “Black coffee and a bacon roll. Okay!”

    Customer: “Oh, well done.”

    (I begin to write crispy under ‘bacon roll’ on the ticket.)

    Customer: “Oh! I mean the bacon roll well done, not you!” *nervous laughter*

    Me: “Of course! Extra crispy bacon.”

    Customer: “Not that you aren’t doing a good job, of course! I just meant… you know. Thank you, and well done!”

    Humor Isn’t Just Skin Deep

    | Stockport, UK |

    Me:” Hi, how are you? Is there anything I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a protective foreskin for my phone.”

    (There is a slight pause and we both burst out laughing.)

    Me: “I think I know what you mean. They’re just over here.”

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