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    Common Sense On The Decline(d)

    | Canada | Uncategorized

    Caller: “My credit card was declined and I want to know why! I’ve never been so embarrassed! I will be canceling my credit card with your f***ing bank as soon as I make this last transaction!”

    (After properly identifying the customer, being yelled at for having to ask security questions and looking through the account, I find the answer.)

    Me: “The purchase did not go through today because you requested a hold on your account last week when you left your credit card at a shopping mall.”

    Caller: “Are you suggesting I’m stupid? I know I asked for a hold, but wouldn’t you incompetent people realize I must have my credit card if I am attempting a purchase?”

    (I remain silent as the customer realizes what they have just said.)

    Caller: “Oh!”

    Me: “Is there anything else I can do to help you today?”

    Caller: *click*

    Not So Smart-Phone, Part 2

    | IN, USA | Uncategorized

    Caller: “How do I make a call from this touch-screen phone? I can’t figure it out.”

    Me: “Are you calling from the device?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Repeat what you did, but with a different number.”

    Not So Smart-Phone

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

    Caller: “Hi, I saw a car online and wanted some info on it.”

    Me: “Sure, let me tell you all about it. Do you have a pen?”

    Caller: “Yeah, 4351.”

    Me: “What’s that?”

    Caller: “My PIN.”

    Me: “To your bank account?!”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    Margarinelly Insane

    | Surrey, UK | Uncategorized

    Old Lady: *shouting randomly* “Marge? Marge?”

    Me: “Are you OK?”

    Old Lady: *worriedly* “I can’t find Marge!”

    Me: “OK, I’ll see if I can find someone to help you.”

    Old Lady: “Please don’t go, you must help me find Marge!”

    Me: “OK, what does she look like?”

    Old Lady: “Who?”

    Me: “Your friend Marge?”

    Old Lady: “I’m looking for margarine, it should be next to the butter!”

    Cutting Remarks

    | Greenville, SC, USA | Uncategorized

    Student: “I need to write a five-paragraph essay for my English class. Can you help me find some books?”

    Me: “Okay, what’s your topic?”

    Student: “I thought I’d write it about Jesus.”

    Me: “Maybe you could narrow it down? Why don’t you choose a Bible verse that inspires you and write about that?”

    Student: “Thanks! You’re so sweet! If I cut you, you’d bleed syrup.”

    Me: “I…thank you?”

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