November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

The Very Social Network

| MI, USA | Uncategorized

(I am trying to help an elderly couple get on the internet.)

Me: “Okay. Go ahead and see if you are able to connect.”

Customer: “I can’t. It says that I am not connected to any networks.”

Me: “That’s odd. I can see you on the network.”

Customer: *amazed* “You can see me?”

Me: “Yes, I can see you.”

Customer: *shocked* “Wow, she can see me!”

Customer’s husband: *in the background* “Well, put some clothes on woman!”

Raisin Wine Awareness

| TX, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer comes up to the counter, and looks at a bottle of wine we’re sampling.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s a tempranillo.”

Customer: “What is a ‘temper-nillo’?”

Me: “It’s a red grape from Spain.”

(The customer picks up the sample cup, and looks at it in confusion.)

Customer: “This is a grape? I could’ve sworn this was wine.” *knocks sample back* “How about that!”

About To Kick The Can

| Mount Vernon, OH, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Good afternoon. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. I was wondering how I can delete stuff from my trash bin?”

Me: “That’s an easy fix. Just right click on the icon, and click ’empty recycling bin’. Got that?”

Customer: *clicking noise* “Okay. Now, how do I get them back?”

Their Question Speaks Volumes

| Rockwall, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Welcome! How may I help you?”

Customer: “How much will I save if I ask really loudly to have this laminated?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “The sign in the window says you give ‘large volume discounts’.”

Eggs Aren’t The Only Things Getting Beaten

| Naperville, IL, USA | Uncategorized

(My restaurant has a deal. If the lunch time food takes longer than 15 minutes to deliver to the table, the meal is free. I explain the concept to a table of three customers.)

Me: “If I don’t have that food out for you in 15 minutes, you guys don’t have to pay for lunch!”

Customer: “Wait. If you take too long and we don’t have to pay, does the price of the food come out of your salary?”

Me: *jokingly* “Oh, no, but my managers do take me outback and beat me.”

Customer: *pauses* “Can I watch?”