October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Hawai’i Spell That

| San Diego, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like to add my son to my policy.”

Me: “Okay, what’s his full name as it appears on his license?”

Customer: “Johnathan James Kai’hoalaloai’u Johnson.”

Me: “Can I have you spell the middle name for me?”

Customer: “Which one? He has two middle names.”

Me: “Not James.”

Customer: “K-a-i-h-o, um, a-l, wait. What did I say so far?”

Sure They Can Cobble Something Together

| Salem, OR, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Welcome to [restaurant], may I take your order please?”

Customer: “I want a Cobb Salad, no Cobb!”

Me: “No what?”

Customer: “No Cobb! I don’t want no Cobb!”

Me: “Cobb was the chef who invented the salad, he is not an ingredient. We put eggs, tomato, bacon, chicken and blue cheese on our salad.”

Customer: “Blue cheese! That’s what I don’t want! No Cobb!”

Me: *giving up* “One Cobb salad, no blue cheese. That will be [price], thank you!”

(At the window.)

Customer: “That don’t got no Cobb, right?”

A Mother With Breast Intentions

| Muskegon, MI, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’m looking for a video game for my 14-year old son. Do you have any suggestions?”

Me: “God of War just came out, and that’s pretty popular. It’s kind of a hack and slash game. Let me show you.”

(I show her the game.)

Me: “I do want to warn you, it might not be appropriate for him.”

Customer: “Why is that?”

Me: “Well, it has a lot of boobs in it.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. My son loves boobs!”

A Victim Of Fur-Ball Abuse

| Ft Worth, TX, USA | Pets & Animals, Top

(I had helped a customer adopt an adorable short-haired tabby. A few days later, she comes back.)

Customer: “I’d like to exchange this cat. I’m allergic.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We can give you a voucher and you’re more than welcome to look at the puppies we have up for adoption.”

Customer: “No, no. I’d like another cat. A long-hair.”

Me: “You’re allergic though. We can’t adopt more cats to you if you’re just going to bring them back.”

Customer: “You misunderstood. I’m allergic to this one because it’s not–”

(At this point she waves her hand in front of her face.)

Me: “Fancy.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “It’s just such a boring looking cat. I’d prefer something a little more fancy.”

(She waves her hand in front of her face again. At this point I’m trying really hard not to laugh.)

Customer: “Do you have any exotic *hand wave* cats? Anything *hand wave* fancy? Perhaps a Persian? I wouldn’t be allergic to that. Or maybe a Siamese? I’m not allergic to *hand wave* fancy cats.”

(We ended up taking the kitten back and giving her a refund, but she is eternally barred from adopting cats from us.)

Medical Training These Days Is Shocking

| DE, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello this is [name] from [college] returning your call. What can I do for you?”

Student: “Hi, I was calling to find out–”

(A very loud noise erupts in the background. Yelling, laughing, and a strange buzzing sound ensues.)

Student: *sounding embarrassed* “Sorry about that. I work at a hospital and it’s really quiet today. Everyone’s playing Operation (the game).”

Me: *laughing* “Ma’am, you just made my day.”

Page 1,694/2,514First...1,6921,6931,6941,6951,696...Last