October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Jingling, It Would Seem, Is Not The Key

| QC, Canada | Uncategorized

(I’m working in the cheese section of the deli, with my back turned to the meat slicer. Suddenly, I hear jingling. I check the floor to see if I dropped something, then continue working.)

*jingling resumes*

(I turn around and notice a customer at the meat slicer counter, jingling his keys at me. He then starts making noises one would use to call a pet.)

Me: “Sir, we have bell.”

Customer: *looks at bell*

Customer: *pauses*

Customer: *jingles keys*

Kids Pop The Best Questions

| Redding, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m currently 8 months pregnant with a little boy, and in my anticipation of my impending motherhood I love chatting to the little ones that come through my line.)

Me: “How old are you?”

Boy: “I’m four, but I am three feet tall which is really tall for my age. I am just going to get bigger and bigger and bigger, just like you are going to get fatter and fatter and fatter.”

(I laugh hysterically.)

Mother: “Honey, she isn’t fat. There’s a baby in there.”

Boy: *wide eyes* “How do they get a baby in there? Why is she working?”

Mother: “I don’t know why she is working.”

Me: “I’m going to have a little boy just like you who is going to get bigger and bigger and bigger.”

Boy: *panicked and near tears* “But you’ll pop!”

Black Ops To Get You Black Listed

| MN, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi. I have a question for you guys. I haven’t been able to log in to Xbox Live. Has there been an outage?”

Me: “Not that I’m aware of. Have you done anything while online that might have gotten you banned?”

Customer: “No. I’ve only been playing the one game and no one is even online when I check!”

Me: “I think you might have to call their tech support. They should be able to help you out.”

Customer: “Oh, alright. Anyway, I also want to cancel my pre-order for Black Ops.”

Me: “Okay. I can do that for you. May I ask why?”

Customer: “I’ve already got it.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “I already have it. Nobody’s online, though.”

Me: “Sir, are you telling me that you’ve been playing a game that hasn’t been released and that you are actively going online with it?”

Customer: “Yeah. Why?”

Me: “I think I’ve figured out why you can’t get on Xbox Live.”

Some Behavior Is Beyond Brief

| Rye Town, NY, USA | Uncategorized

(I am a saleswoman who had to organize the men’s underwear about 10 minutes before a customer walked in.)

Me: “Hello ma’am, can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need [pair of underwear] in a size medium.”

Me: “I am terribly sorry, but we are out of that particular size in that brand.”

Customer: “No, I do not believe you. Can you not check?”

Me: “I can assure you I organized the underwear not too long ago, but I would love to check for you. If we do not have it, I can order it for you.”

(I recheck, and the underwear is not there.)

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, would you like me to order it for you?”

Customer: “No, I will go somewhere else.”

(As she leaves, she passes by my manager.)

Customer: *whispering loudly* “Do you know your female employee spends her free time in men’s underwear?”

Manager: “Do you know I make her?”

Breathless Anticipation

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “I want to make a complaint about that young man that works here. He didn’t help me at all and I need to find a certain book.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Was the book misplaced? Is that why he couldn’t find it?”

Customer: “Well, no. He didn’t offer to help me at all. I walked by him three times and sighed loudly, and its his job to know that I need help and to help me out.”

Me: “Are you complaining because he’s supposed to assume that you need help, even when you didn’t ask him for help?”

Customer: “It’s the polite thing to do! No one here can find books, they’re all shelved funny and its your job to know that we need help finding them. Make him do his job properly!”

Page 1,693/2,514First...1,6911,6921,6931,6941,695...Last