October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

A Victim Of Fur-Ball Abuse

| Ft Worth, TX, USA | Pets & Animals, Top

(I had helped a customer adopt an adorable short-haired tabby. A few days later, she comes back.)

Customer: “I’d like to exchange this cat. I’m allergic.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We can give you a voucher and you’re more than welcome to look at the puppies we have up for adoption.”

Customer: “No, no. I’d like another cat. A long-hair.”

Me: “You’re allergic though. We can’t adopt more cats to you if you’re just going to bring them back.”

Customer: “You misunderstood. I’m allergic to this one because it’s not–”

(At this point she waves her hand in front of her face.)

Me: “Fancy.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “It’s just such a boring looking cat. I’d prefer something a little more fancy.”

(She waves her hand in front of her face again. At this point I’m trying really hard not to laugh.)

Customer: “Do you have any exotic *hand wave* cats? Anything *hand wave* fancy? Perhaps a Persian? I wouldn’t be allergic to that. Or maybe a Siamese? I’m not allergic to *hand wave* fancy cats.”

(We ended up taking the kitten back and giving her a refund, but she is eternally barred from adopting cats from us.)

Medical Training These Days Is Shocking

| DE, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello this is [name] from [college] returning your call. What can I do for you?”

Student: “Hi, I was calling to find out–”

(A very loud noise erupts in the background. Yelling, laughing, and a strange buzzing sound ensues.)

Student: *sounding embarrassed* “Sorry about that. I work at a hospital and it’s really quiet today. Everyone’s playing Operation (the game).”

Me: *laughing* “Ma’am, you just made my day.”

Attempting Mouse To Mouse Resuscitation

| USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I plugged a mouse into my computer, and it died. Now I can’t get it out.”

(We review for a few minutes and I deduce that he has plugged a mouse into his USB port, but it’s stuck inside and won’t work.)

Me: “Okay, so grab the cord and try to pull on that.”

Customer: “You mean the tail? That’s already in the port.”

Me: “Well, the cord shouldn’t be. You’re supposed to plug in the other end.”

Customer: “You mean the head? I don’t think it would fit.”

(Suddenly realizing what the customer has done.)

Me: “Did you plug in a live mouse to your computer?”

Customer: “Yes, I believe I said that.”

(I put customer on hold for several minutes. When I recover I realize I don’t know what to tell the customer I call my supervisor who instructs the customer to bring the laptop into a repair shop. I get the customer back on and tell him this information.)

Customer: “But Mickey’s gone for good now, right?”

So Pho, So Crazy, Part 2

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello ma’am, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Sorry, I was just curious. What ethnicity are you?”

Me: “Oh, I’m Vietnamese.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “You know, from Vietnam?”

*blank stare*

Me: “…like the Vietnam War?”

Customer: “Oh! You were in that?”

So Pho, So Crazy

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 3

| New Brunswick, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

(Note: I am a customer.)

Fellow Customer: *heavily accented* “Excuse me. Where are the pipe cleaners?”

Me: “Sorry sir, I don’t work here. I have no idea.”

(He moves off to meet with two others, who have a conversation. I move on, when another from the group approaches me.)

Fellow Customer #2: “Hi. Where are your pipe cleaners?”

Me: “I don’t know. I don’t work here.”

Fellow Customer #2: “Oh.” *long pause* “I want green ones.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I meant I don’t work here. I’m also shopping.”

(He walks back to his group, who have another hushed conversation. The third person comes over. By now, a fourth customer is watching with amusement.)

Fellow Customer #3: “I’m sorry, they’re new to America and don’t follow much English.”

Me: “That’s alright.”

Fellow Customer #3: “We can’t find those long green–”

Me: “No, I don’t work here. I’m just shopping here, too.”

Fellow Customer #3: “Oh, alright. You just seemed to know where you were going. Sorry to bother you.”

(He and his friends leave to find someone in the dark blue of the store’s uniform.)

Other Customer: “Wow. Took them long enough!”

Me: *laughing a little* “Yeah, I guess I’m still in work-mode.”

Other Customer: “So, where is your yarn?”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 2
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here

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