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  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
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  • Now That Is A Wonder Bra

    , | Brighton, UK | Uncategorized

    (The ‘invisible bras’ we advertise talk about the see-through straps.)

    Customer: “I thought this was an invisible bra, but I can see it!”

    (She is pointing angrily at the black bra under her thin white top.)

    Me: *playing along* “No, miss. The invisible bras were the ones next to those ones. I don’t know how you didn’t see them.”

    Between The Teen Computer Screen

    | Online | Uncategorized

    Me: *via online chat* “It’s just the date of birth that doesn’t match on your account. But I have the correct account pulled up here.”

    Customer: “Maybe if I tried to make the account when I was very young, I might have claimed to be eighteen at the time. But the month and day would still be the same!”

    Me: “…I see.”

    Customer: “Yes. I know it was very wrong of teenager-me to claim to be an adult. However, I can hardly ground her at this point.”

    Between The Preteen Gender Screen

    Found Next To The Irony Section

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I need to find [diet and exercise book].”

    (I go and look up the book for her.)

    Me: “Alright, it looks like it will be in our wellness section. Let’s head over there and grab it.”

    Customer: “You go get it. I’m tired.”

    Being Buried In Your Mortgage

    | Beaverton, OR, USA | Uncategorized

    (I specialize in modifying loans to make an existing payment more manageable. These are called ‘loan modifications’.)

    Customer: “I’m calling for a ‘remortification’.”

    Me: *joking* “Okay, so you were previously mortified?”

    Customer: “Yes, once before. My payments are too high now. I need to be mortified again.”

    You Twin Some, You Lose Some

    | UK | Uncategorized

    (A customer comes to a sample stand.)

    Me: “Would you like to try some noodles?”

    Customer: “Sure. Wow, this is so tasty.”

    (A very similar looking customer comes in 15 minutes later. He is in a different shirt and pants.)

    Customer: “Oh, good. There’s still some noodles left. Can I try some too?”

    Me: “Didn’t you just try it? It’s one per customer.”

    Customer: “That was my twin brother. We live right across the street and he told me about the noodles.”

    Me: “Wow, so both you and your brother have a bandage on that hand?”

    Customer: “Uh…” *walks away*

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