Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (3,191 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Try The New Pool At Hogwarts

    | North York, ON, Canada |

    Customer: “Why is it that your pool is so small?”

    Me: “It is a Therapeutics pool, geared towards people to do their exercises.”

    Customer: “So there is no other pool in this building?”

    Me: “No, there is no other pool in this building, but there is one up the street.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just make it bigger?”

    Now Made With Real Vegetarians

    , | Hull, UK |

    Customer: “There is no pasta in my pastarami sandwich, just some meat.”

    Me: “It’s Pastrami, peppered beef–not pastarami.”

    Customer: “Oh, can I change it please? I’m vegetarian.”

    Byte Off More Than You Can Chew

    , | United Kingdom | Top

    Me: “Good morning, what can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Well, a few of my friends have been talking about this ‘internet’ thing. Is it any good?”

    Me: “Yes, it is very useful. I use it all the time.”

    Customer: “Oh, good.” *pulls something from his pocket*

    Customer: “Could you put it on to this floppy disc for me, please?”

    Me: “The entire Internet?”

    Customer: “Yes, please!”

    Selfish Smokers

    | London, UK | Health & Body, Top

    Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “A packet of 20 Marlboro Lights, please.”

    (I hand him the cigarettes.)

    Customer: “Wait, I don’t want these ones.”

    Me: “Why? They’re Marlboro Lights. Did you change your mind?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want ones with this health warning about cigarettes causing impotency.”

    Me: “Ok. Do you want ‘smoking harms those around you,’ or ‘smoking causes testicular cancer?’”

    Customer: “Give me the ‘harms others’ ones.”

    Confusing Crosses With Crossbones

    | Tampa, FL, USA |

    (An older customer comes out of the fitting room wearing a black and red striped shirt with designs that look like piles of skulls.)

    Customer: “I just think that this is so cute. What do you think?”

    Me: “That’s a really interesting choice for a blouse.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know. I just think these little flower designs are so pretty!”

    Me: “Ma’am, those are actually skulls.”

    (The customer looks a bit closer at the shirt before finally realizing what she is wearing.)

    Customer: “Oh my Lord, I was planning on wearing this to church!”

    Page 1,690/2,155First...1,6881,6891,6901,6911,692...Last