Casting The First Stone

| Elizabethtown, PA, USA | Religion, Top

(A customer comes through my check-out line looking agitated.)

Customer: “How dare you work on a sacred day of rest!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Today is Sunday! Why are you here? You should be in church, you blasphemous heathen! Why are you here?”

Me: “I’m working on Sunday because there are customers that want to buy groceries on Sundays.”

(The customer immediately shut up and didn’t speak for the rest of the time I rang up his groceries).

Press One For Faster Service

, | CA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am taking orders on a headset while also taking money at the window. A customer drives up to my speaker.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “No hablo inglés!”

Me: “Un momento…”

(I take the money from the customer at the window, planning to get a Spanish speaking manager as soon as I can. After a few minutes…)

Customer: “Okay, fine! I speak English!”

Blocks UV-A, UV-B, And Omega-3

| Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

(I am standing at the cash registers when a customer approaches me with two bottles of sunscreen.)

Customer: “Excuse me, could you tell me the difference between these two?”

(I explain to her they are different brands, different prices, and of different SPF.)

Customer: “Oh, okay. But is one of them fat free?”

Readin’, Ritin’, And Retrievin’

| San Diego, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Good morning, you have reached [high school]. How can I help you?”

Parent: “My son left his cell phone at the convenience store three blocks over. Can you go get it?”

A Dogged Request

| Oregon, USA | Uncategorized

(My boss, the groomer, does a thing called “stripping”, which is basically plucking the hairs off the body of a wiry-haired dog with a special brush. My coworker answers the phone and I’m right there listening to the conversation. It’s a man who owns an Irish Terrier.)

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to speak to your stripper!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I need to make an appointment with your stripper!”

Coworker: “Um, do you mean our groomer?”

Customer: “I don’t know what you’re saying. I need the stripper to strip my Irish dog!”

Coworker: “All right. I’m just gonna put you on hold so I can put the…stripper…on the line.”

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