October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

A Mother With Breast Intentions

| Muskegon, MI, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’m looking for a video game for my 14-year old son. Do you have any suggestions?”

Me: “God of War just came out, and that’s pretty popular. It’s kind of a hack and slash game. Let me show you.”

(I show her the game.)

Me: “I do want to warn you, it might not be appropriate for him.”

Customer: “Why is that?”

Me: “Well, it has a lot of boobs in it.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. My son loves boobs!”

A Victim Of Fur-Ball Abuse

| Ft Worth, TX, USA | Pets & Animals, Top

(I had helped a customer adopt an adorable short-haired tabby. A few days later, she comes back.)

Customer: “I’d like to exchange this cat. I’m allergic.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. We can give you a voucher and you’re more than welcome to look at the puppies we have up for adoption.”

Customer: “No, no. I’d like another cat. A long-hair.”

Me: “You’re allergic though. We can’t adopt more cats to you if you’re just going to bring them back.”

Customer: “You misunderstood. I’m allergic to this one because it’s not–”

(At this point she waves her hand in front of her face.)

Me: “Fancy.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “It’s just such a boring looking cat. I’d prefer something a little more fancy.”

(She waves her hand in front of her face again. At this point I’m trying really hard not to laugh.)

Customer: “Do you have any exotic *hand wave* cats? Anything *hand wave* fancy? Perhaps a Persian? I wouldn’t be allergic to that. Or maybe a Siamese? I’m not allergic to *hand wave* fancy cats.”

(We ended up taking the kitten back and giving her a refund, but she is eternally barred from adopting cats from us.)

Medical Training These Days Is Shocking

| DE, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello this is [name] from [college] returning your call. What can I do for you?”

Student: “Hi, I was calling to find out–”

(A very loud noise erupts in the background. Yelling, laughing, and a strange buzzing sound ensues.)

Student: *sounding embarrassed* “Sorry about that. I work at a hospital and it’s really quiet today. Everyone’s playing Operation (the game).”

Me: *laughing* “Ma’am, you just made my day.”

Attempting Mouse To Mouse Resuscitation

| USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I plugged a mouse into my computer, and it died. Now I can’t get it out.”

(We review for a few minutes and I deduce that he has plugged a mouse into his USB port, but it’s stuck inside and won’t work.)

Me: “Okay, so grab the cord and try to pull on that.”

Customer: “You mean the tail? That’s already in the port.”

Me: “Well, the cord shouldn’t be. You’re supposed to plug in the other end.”

Customer: “You mean the head? I don’t think it would fit.”

(Suddenly realizing what the customer has done.)

Me: “Did you plug in a live mouse to your computer?”

Customer: “Yes, I believe I said that.”

(I put customer on hold for several minutes. When I recover I realize I don’t know what to tell the customer I call my supervisor who instructs the customer to bring the laptop into a repair shop. I get the customer back on and tell him this information.)

Customer: “But Mickey’s gone for good now, right?”

So Pho, So Crazy, Part 2

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hello ma’am, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Sorry, I was just curious. What ethnicity are you?”

Me: “Oh, I’m Vietnamese.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “You know, from Vietnam?”

*blank stare*

Me: “…like the Vietnam War?”

Customer: “Oh! You were in that?”

So Pho, So Crazy

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