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  • Gave Them A Rude Awakening
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    Best Just Throw In The Towel On This One

    | Woodland Park, NJ, USA |

    (A customer comes up to the register with two hand towels. They are on clearance.)

    Customer: “The sign said these were buy one, get one free.”

    Me: “Well, actually they’re clearance. So you’re saving $2.”

    Customer: “I want what the sign says.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about the sign being wrong, but you’re actually saving more money by them being on clearance.”

    Customer: “You’re not listening to what I’m saying. I don’t care about saving money.”

    (I charge her the extra two dollars.)

    Ah, Children

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Top

    (A customer approaches with her 2 year old son in arms, and her 5 year old daughter. As she is about to order, a customer from a few minutes earlier storms in front of her. She is yelling and screaming incoherently, and throws her drink on the counter.)

    Daughter, to her mother: “Mummy, why is the lady yelling?”

    Mother: “Never mind it, she’s just being rude.”

    (The little girl scowls, and points at the customer.)

    Daughter: “You cut that out right now! You need to be more polite!”

    (Taking example from his sister, the toddler starts pointing and yelling.)

    Toddler: “BAD! BAD!”

    (The irate customer is embarrassed. She shuts up and storms out. The little girl gets a free hot chocolate.)

    Ah, Parents

    When Intelligence Is Tempered

    | OK, USA |

    (I am talking to a customer about vaccines for dogs.)

    Me: “The normal shots we give annually are distemper, parvo, rabies, and bordatella.”

    Customer: “Okay. I wanted to be sure the distemper shot was part of it. My dog needs that.”

    Me: “Okay. Would you like me to make an appointment for you?”

    Customer: “Sure. Now, how long after the distemper shot will it take effect?”

    Me: “What do you mean, take effect?”

    Customer: “How long until my dog is nicer?”

    An Abbreviation Abberation

    | Humboldt, CA, USA |

    (I’ve just finished making a sandwich for a customer. I am new at this, so he double checks what I do.)

    Customer: “Did you forget anything?”

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? You remembered the cucumbers and turkey?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “And the lettuce?”

    Me: “And the tomatoes, pickles, mustard and mayo, sir. It’s written on the–”

    Customer: “Mayo? What the h*** is that? And you left out the mayonnaise! Why did you do that?”

    Me: “But, that’s what I said.”

    Customer: “No! You said mayo! That’s not what I wanted!”

    Me: “I put in mayonnaise. Mayo is just an abbreviation.”

    Customer: “Abbreviation? What’s that, some kind of fruit?”

    The Very Social Network

    | MI, USA |

    (I am trying to help an elderly couple get on the internet.)

    Me: “Okay. Go ahead and see if you are able to connect.”

    Customer: “I can’t. It says that I am not connected to any networks.”

    Me: “That’s odd. I can see you on the network.”

    Customer: *amazed* “You can see me?”

    Me: “Yes, I can see you.”

    Customer: *shocked* “Wow, she can see me!”

    Customer’s husband: *in the background* “Well, put some clothes on woman!”

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