Got The Bird, But No Bees Here

| Toledo, OH, USA | Pets & Animals

(I work at the African exhibit of a zoo. I have a real ostrich egg that we regularly show to visitors. We only have two female ostriches that occasionally lay an egg. Their keepers take it out, empty the yolk, and give it to our staff for demo purposes.)

Me: “Hi kids, want to see a real ostrich egg?”

Kid: “Ooh, why is there a hole in it?”

Me: “The keepers drilled a hole to get to yolk out, so it doesn’t become rotten. It has a yolk just like a chicken egg you eat for breakfast. We don’t have any boy ostrich so we know there wasn’t a chick inside, only a yolk.”

(The mother of the kid chimes in.)

Mother: “The boys lay the eggs with the chicks inside?”

Me: “No, we only have females so there is no chick, only yolk. It’s like when chicken lay eggs we eat.”

Mother: “Right, so only the males lay eggs with chicks inside?”

Me: “No, males don’t lay eggs at all. It takes a boy and a girl to make a chick. Like to make a baby, the boy has to fertilize the eggs?”

Mother: “Ooh!”

The Genie Ate The Punchline

| Christchurch, New Zealand | Rude & Risque

(I am ringing up a customer and he is ready to pay by credit card. I hold my hand out to swipe his card for him, but he refuses.)

Customer: “Oh, no, let me swipe it!”

Me: “Okay, right down there when you’re ready.”

Customer: “It’s a bit hard to handle.”

(I say nothing and finish the transaction.)

Customer: “You just have to know how to stroke it the right way, you know?”

Me: “Uh, yeah. Sure!”

Customer: “It’s funny, because it sounds sexual.”

Introducing Not Always Romantic!

| NotAlwaysRomantic.com | Uncategorized

Visit Not Always RomanticAfter months of preparation, we’re proud to unveil our brand new site:
Not Always Romantic!

We’ve all heard of “hopeless romantics”, but is love always romantic? Not Always Romantic is a website that tells the other side of the story with funny, unusual, and occasionally touching stories about love, dating, romance, and relationships.

Created by the team here at Not Always Right, we’ve long realized there was a place for romantic relationship stories — in fact, many of our best stories fit that niche (with a customer angle, of course). Just like Not Always Right, the new site will feature daily posts submitted by readers.

Note: For our first few weeks, we’ll be re-publishing some of Not Always Right’s best customer-related love/relationship stories on Not Always Romantic until we can get a steady supply of submissions.

So, please visit Not Always Romantic today and share your stories!

Baaaad Hearing And Maaaad Rearing

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer and her daughter walk up to me while I’m putting up items on a shelf. Her daughter looks about 7 years old. I am well known for doing very well with young children around her age.)

Customer: “Could you help me find something my child needs for a project she’s doing?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I turn toward the customer’s daughter, who is holding a piece of her project.)

Me: “Whatcha’ got there, kiddo?”

Customer: “Don’t call my child a goat!”

Me: “Beg your pardon?”

Customer: “You heard me! You called my daughter a kid, which is a goat! My child is not an animal!” *storms out with daughter in tow*

Going From Positive To Negative

, | Singapore | Top

(This happens after I help an old lady with a home theater system for over an hour and a half, explaining every little detail and giving her a demo.)

Customer: “Thank you very much, young lady. I’m sorry for taking too much of your time.”

Me: “You’re welcome. No worries. It’s my pleasure to help you.”

Customer: “I know some of my questions are stupid, but you are very patient.”

Me: “Not a problem at all. Some of these things can be very confusing, even for myself, and I work here!”

Customer: “I should give a compliment letter about you.”

Me: “Wow, thanks very much. You can do that at the cashier. Oh, by the way–the remote control doesn’t have any batteries. Should we go get them now? It will save you a trip.”

Customer: “That’s a great idea!”

(We proceed to go to the battery section of the store.)

Me: “So, here we are, you need two AAs.”

Customer: “Do you have the [brand] ones?”

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry. I think we just ran out. We have other brands though. Would you like to try?”

Customer: “You and your f***ing store! I’ve never received such terrible service! This is the reason why people don’t go back here! I will have you fired! You will never work again!”

Me: *speechless*

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