Baking Up Baby

| NY, USA |

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to get cookies. How much are they?”

Me: “By the size of the box or the bag. We have 4 and 8 pound bags, and different sized boxes.”

Customer: “8 pound bag? So I could fit a whole baby in there?”

Not A Smart Guy, Period

| Auckland, New Zealand |

Me: “Okay, sir. The email address is [name]@[company].com.”

Caller: “Dot-com. Is that all one word?”

Me: “Dot, as in a full stop.”

Caller: “Smart guy, huh?!”

Not So Smart-Phone, Part 3

| New York, NY, USA |

Caller: “I’d like to know how to charge my handheld, please.”

Me: “Take the cable, and plug it into the bottom of the handheld. Take the other side, and plug it into the wall.”

Caller: “Which one goes in the wall?”

Me: “The side that has the two prongs.”

Caller: “Why is this so complicated?!” *click*

Related:
Not So Smart-Phone, Part 2
Not So Smart-Phone

Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself, Part 3

| York, UK |

(The cheapest drink we sell is an espresso. Customers often ask for ‘expresso’ because it is the cheapest thing on the prices board, not knowing what the actual drink is.)

Customer: “Can I have an expresso, please?”

Me: “Of course. Can I just check…do you know what an espresso is?”

Customer’s girlfriend: “You serve five kinds of coffee and you don’t know what an expresso is?!”

Me: “No, no. I’m not asking you to explain it to me. I just wanted to check you knew what you were going to get.”

Customer’s girlfriend: “Of course we do! Do we look stupid? God!”

(She stalks off to a table and leaves her boyfriend to wait for his drink.)

Me: “Here’s your espresso, sir. Sorry about the misunderstanding.”

Customer: “That’s okay.”

(There is a long pause as he looks at his drink.)

Customer: “Do you think I could get this in a bigger cup? With some milk?”

Related:
Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself, Part 2
Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself
Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself
Espresso Yourself Can Cause A Latte Problems

Savior This Customer

| Louisville, KY, USA |

(I am checking out an elderly customer.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. You’re all set to go. Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “You too. And keep Jesus close to you. He’s coming back, you know! Coming back to get all of us!”

Page 1,681/2,595First...1,6791,6801,6811,6821,683...Last