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  • Customer Service Is Over(reaction)
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    The Greater Of Two Evils

    | Southend-on-Sea, UK |

    (A customer with a small child comes into our video game store and slams The Sims 2 down on the counter angrily.)

    Customer: “Someone bought my son this game for his birthday. It’s completely unsuitable! Far too many adult themes!”

    Me: “Well, provided you have the receipt, you can exchange it for a more suitable game if you’d like.”

    Customer: “Okay, can you show me some games my son would like? Remember, he is only eight!”

    Me: “Sure…”

    (I show her a variety of games that would be fine for that age group.)

    Customer: “What about this one?” *points to Grand Theft Auto: San
    Andreas*

    Customer’s kid: “Yeah mum! I want that one!”

    Me: “Erm…I wouldn’t say that is a suitable replacement really…”

    Customer: “Well why not?”

    Me: “Well it’s about crime, and there are a lot of adult themes.”

    Customer: “But you can have sex and children in The Sims!”

    (I tried to convince her otherwise, but in the end she ended up buying GTA for her kid.)

    Ah, The Wonders Of Osmosis

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada |

    (A customer comes in to discuss care of his elderly, very ill cat. We talk about keeping the cat warm and hydrated.)

    Customer: “So, I have this idea…I thought that if I put the cat in a bath, she’d stay warm and not be thirsty.”

    Me: “Well sir, I don’t think that that would be a good idea. She’ll get cold once you take her out of the bath. Also, putting her in water isn’t going to help her stay hydrated.”

    Customer: “You mean that if I’m thirsty and I take a bath, I’ll still be thirsty when I get out?”

    Me: “Yes, that is what I’m saying.”

    Taster’s Choice

    | Massachusetts, USA |

    (I was a customer at a store that engraves plaques, trophies, etc. and I witnessed this exchange.)

    Employee: *to another customer* “Hello, can I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a specific plaque design.”

    Employee: “All right, what kind of design are you looking for?”

    Customer: “Uh…I don’t really remember what it looked like. But it tasted really bad.”

    Employee: “…let’s just look over here, shall we?”

    Love The Life Choice, Hate The Life

    | Hagerstown, MD, USA |

    (A woman called in to make a reservation.)

    Woman: “Hi, I’m a vegetarian, what can you do for me?”

    Host: “Well, I can check with the kitch–”

    Woman: *interrupting* “And I don’t wanna hear pasta, tofu or vegetables!”

    Host: “Well ma’am, what did you have in mind?”

    Woman: “I don’t know, but everywhere I call offers me that, and I don’t like any of it!”

    Taking It Old School

    | Northridge, CA, USA |

    (I was working in the department office one day when an old woman called me up.)

    Me: *on the phone* “Radio, TV and Film Department. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I want to take a class in radio.”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but our classes are part of the Bachelor’s degree curriculum. You can’t just take one class.”

    Caller: “Well…how long is the Bachelor’s degree program?”

    Me: “4 years at minimum, but the average student take 5 years to complete it.”

    Caller: “5 YEARS?! I can’t do that! …so where else can I take a class in radio?”

    Me: “Why don’t you try **** College? They have a radio station, so they may have some radio classes. Here’s the number.”

    Caller: “What kind of school is **** College?”

    Me: “It’s a community college.”

    Caller: “A WHAT kind of college?”

    Me: “A community college. You know, a junior college.”

    Caller: “HONEY! I don’t need no JUNIOR college. I am a SENIOR citizen!”


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