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There Is No Expiration On Your Stupidity

| Midlands, UK | At The Checkout

(A customer comes to the till with a large bottle of milk.)

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to return this. It’s expired.”

Me: “It says on the receipt that you bought it last week.”

Customer: “Yes, but I haven’t used it. It’s expired.”

Me: “The expiration date is yesterday. It was well in date when you bought it.”

Customer: “Yes, but I didn’t use it, so you have to give me a refund.”

Me: “I’m afraid we can’t give a refund for that. It was within date when you bought it.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you change it, at least?”

Me: “You want to swap some expired milk for fresh milk?”

Customer: “No, just change the label so it’s in date again.”

Too Many Nuggets Rots Your Brain

, | PA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Do you still have the fifty piece nuggets?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. It was a limited time product, but we still have the twenty piece.”

Customer: “Okay, I need a minute to figure out what I want.”

Me: “No problem. Just let me know when you’re ready.”

*long silence*

Customer: “Okay, that’ll be all.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Oh, I think I forgot to order!”

Wake Up And Sell The Coffee, Part 2

| Riverside, CA, USA | Food & Drink

(I’m ringing up customers when I suddenly have a severe allergic reaction to something I ate on my break twenty minutes ago. By severe reaction, I mean my entire body is quickly becoming covered in hives in the span of about 30 seconds.)

Customer: “Hey, can you hurry up? I’m kind of in a hurry.”

Me: “Sorry, I think I’m gonna have to get someone else to finish
helping you.”

Customer: “No! I’m late and I need you to finish ringing me up right now!”

Me: “Uhh…” *passes out*

(As I am coming to, I can hear the customer still yelling.)

Customer: “No, you can’t help me! I know he’s faking it and I’m not leaving until he rings me up!”

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Wake Up And Sell The Coffee

Mess Up The Ketchup And She’ll Mess You Up

| Memphis, TN, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Okay, ma’am, a number 3 with a root beer. Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

Customer: “No, that’ll be all, but do me a favor.”

Me: “Alright, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “Don’t put any ketchup packets in my bag.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll be sure not–”

Customer: “You better not! I can’t eat ketchup! They piss me off!”

Ugly Advice From An Ugly Soul

| New York, USA | At The Checkout

(I’m skinny, tall, and with long hair. My boyfriend is also my coworker. He’s chubby, short, and his head is shaved. While ringing up a woman, my boyfriend passes by me at the end of his shift.)

Woman: “Was that your boyfriend?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman: “My goodness, you deserve much better than that. You look like a model and don’t belong with that awful looking junk!”

Me: “Uh, ma’am, I don’t think that’s for you to decide.”

Woman: “I highly advise you to dump him. My friends and family always say I give the best advice and none of them have ever regretted it.”

Me: “Ma’am, could you drop the subject? I’m trying to ring up your
groceries and there’s a line behind you.”

Woman: “Alright. I’ll have a talk with you some other time.”

(So far, this woman hasn’t come back. Hopefully, she never will.)

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