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    When Colloquialisms Meet Capitalism

    | Long Island, NY, USA |

    (I’ve just rung up a customer up for cigarettes.)

    Customer: “I’m gonna zip-zip it.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Zip-zip!”

    Me: “I don’t know what that means.”

    Customer: *getting annoyed* “I’m going to use my zip-zip card!”

    Customer’s Daughter: “Zip-zip? Gosh, Mom! It’s a credit card.”

    Me: “Oooh. You can slide that right over there.” *pointing to the card machine*

    Customer: “Which button do I press? It’s asking me to pick payment type.”

    Me: “…credit?”

    Keep The Paranoia, Keep The Stress

    | Florida, USA |

    (Our tea store hands out free samples in the mall in small two ounce cups to people walking by the store. An older woman walks by one day.)

    Me: “Would you like to try some tea, ma’am?”

    Customer: *smiling* “Why yes! I love tea! What flavors do you have?”

    Me: “Well, I have a relaxing green tea, and…”

    (At this point the woman’s expression changes and she cuts me off mid-sentence, waving her hand in my face.)

    Customer: “Oh forget it! I don’t want to relax! Forget it! You should be ashamed!” *storms off*

    From Lucifer To Lucky

    | Jamestown, NC, USA | Top

    (I’ve just rung up a customer’s items at the grocery store.)

    Me: “That will be $6.66, sir.”

    Customer:“Wait a minute!”

    (The customer proceeds to frantically search the candy displays. He comes back with a handful of various candies and a soda.)

    Customer: “Okay, now ring these up, because that is bad omen!”

    Me: “Your new total is…$7.77!

    Dude, Where’s My Brain

    | Eugene, OR, USA |

    (Two guys walk into our video rental store, find their video, and come up to pay.)

    Coworker: “What’s your phone number?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it’s [phone number].”

    Coworker: “Okay, so Chris [last name]?”

    Customer’s friend: “Holy s*** man, he knows your name!” *turns to my coworker* “Dude, what’s my name?!”

    Coworker: “…”

    Customer: “Dude, I have an account here.”

    Customer’s friend: “Oh. I’m going to go wait in the car…”

    The Perils Of Information Underload

    | Trondheim, Norway |

    (I’m a band host for a Norwegian band and am working at a music festival in Trondheim, Norway. An irate lady comes up to me.)

    Lady: “What the h*** is going on?”

    Me: “This is the Trondheim Rock Festival.”

    Lady: “But it’s in the middle of everything!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

    Lady: “I have to go all around it to get to the other side of the city center!”

    Me: “Yes, yes, you do.”

    Lady: “But this is outrageous! How can you do this without telling people on beforehand?”

    Me: “Well, there’s been a lot of publicity on TV, posters on the walls, and in the newspapers. It also takes place the same time each year.”

    Lady: “Hmph! I think you should get something done about this. You can’t expect people to remember, look at posters, read newspapers or watch TV all the time!”

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