More Pressing Issues

| Fayetteville, AR, USA | Rude & Risque

(I am a female employee at a sporting goods store. A elderly male with a noticeable limp comes in.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yes. I need something for support.”

Me: “Oh, yes, we keep all of the supporters on this wall.”

(I indicate the various supporters: knees, shins, etc. He begins to look at the different kinds, before picking up a simple knee strap that is basically a thin velcro band. He opens and examines it.)

Customer: “So this just straps around?”

Me: “Yes, sir. It’s got velcro on the back so you can adjust the size and fasten it.”

(There is a long pause as he looks like he’s trying to figure out how it works.)

Customer: “So, how does this protect the testicles?”

(I promptly direct him towards the cups and find a male employee to help him.)

Some Were Born To Please

| Panama City, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’d like the banana bread.”

Me: “Okay. That’ll be $1.95.”

Customer: “You have a weird face.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I don’t like your face! I want an apology now!”

Me: “Um…I’m sorry you don’t like my face?”

Customer: “Thank you!” *walks away*

Customer #2: “Well, I like your face.”

When The Not Blind Lead The Blind

| Sydney, Australia | Uncategorized

(I work in a shop with several shelves of vitamins and herbal products. A man walks into the store and straight up to my counter.)

Customer: “Vitamins.”

Me: “What kind are you looking for?”

Customer: “Eyes.”

(He starts to scan the shelves with admirable inefficiency.)

Me: “These ones?”

(I point at the supplements specifically for eyesight.)

Customer: “No.”

(He scans shelves some more.)

Customer: “I can’t see them! You’re useless!”

(He throws his hands in the air and storms out of the store.)

Cordless & Clueless

| Yorkshire, UK | Technology

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a cordless phone.”

Me: “No problem, they’re just over here.”

Customer: ‘I’m wanting one without batteries and that you plug into the mains, do you have any?”

Me: “That would defeat the point of a cordless phone wouldn’t it?”

Customer: “No, I had one last time!”

Me: “Was it like this?”

(I show her the corded phones.)

Customer: “Yes! See, a cordless phone you plug in!”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 8
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 7
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 6

Narcoleptic Nancy’s Inconvenient Nap

| New Jersey, USA | Uncategorized

(There are a dozen people in line waiting for three fitting rooms.)

Customer: “Someone’s been inside room #1 for a long time.”

(I walk over and the other customers confirm. I’m told no one has come out of that particular room for 15 minutes. The door is indeed locked. I knock and there’s no response. I knock harder and still no response.)

Me: “That’s weird. The door is locked, not stuck. It can only be locked from the inside or with a key. Did you see who went in there?”

Customer: “Yes, some lady.”

(I bang on the door this time. Again, no response. I go to get the key and open the door. Inside is a fully dressed lady sitting on the bench sleeping. Store clothes are strewn on the floor. I have to shake her to wake her up.)

Lady: *slurred* “What?”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re sleeping in our fitting room and there’s a line of people waiting. You weren’t responding when we knocked, so I had to come in to check on you.”

Lady: “Oh! My goodness, I’m so sorry! I’m really tired, and on top of that, I’m a very sound sleeper!”

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