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    Being That Stupid Is Quite A Feet

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    Customer: “How big do people usually make fleece blankets?”

    Me: “For people under six foot they’re usually 2 1/2 yards, and for over six feet, three yards.”

    (The customer is silent for a moment, giving me a confused stare.)

    Customer: “I’m just no good with metric yards.”

    Was Gonna Say Stupid, But She Already Called It

    | Charlotte, NC, USA |

    Caller: *sighs* “Well, I’m glad somebody decided to answer the phone over there. I’ve been trying to get through to you all day, but all I get is a busy signal!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the phone has barely rung here all day. Are you sure you were calling the right number?”

    Caller: “What? Of COURSE I was! I was calling the number on this here invoice you all sent me last week.”

    Me: “I see. Do you mind reading the phone number to me?”

    Caller: “It’s 704-366…oh. Now wait a minute. That’s MY number. Well, no wonder I kept getting a busy signal. I’ve been calling myself all day long!”

    Caught Calling The Kettle Black

    | Australia |

    (Note: ‘Where The Wild Things Are’ has just been released at the cinema. When movies come out, the book usually sky rockets in popularity.)

    Me: “Good morning, how can I help you today?”

    Patron: “Hi, I was wondering if you have a copy of Where The Wild Things Are?”

    Me: “I’m sure we do, but I have to warn you that since it has just come out at the movies, there will probably be a waiting list.”

    (I look up the book, and sure enough there are 12 reservations)

    Me: “I’m sorry, there are currently 12 reservations in place. I can put you down for a reservation but you probably won’t get it for another 4-6 months.”

    Patron: “What? That’s ridiculous! It’s such an old book. Why are people suddenly interested?”

    Me: “Well, when a movie is made out of a book, people are suddenly interested in reading the book.”

    Patron: “That’s stupid. I don’t see why they should want to read it just because the movie has come out.”

    Me: “Why did you want to read it?”

    Patron: “Because the movie has just come out!”

    A Beeping Idiot

    | London, ON, Canada |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [cellphone company], how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Okay, now listen: this cellphone won’t make outgoing calls. What the h*** is wrong with it?”

    Me: “I’ll check to see if there are any blocks on it or anything wrong with the account.” *beep*

    Caller: “Did you hear that beep? It keeps doing that too!”

    Me: “Wait, are you calling me from that cellphone?”

    Caller: “Yes, why?”

    Thinking Outside The Box

    | Hahira, GA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. Can I help you?”

    Caller: “I just picked up an order from you and it is completely wrong. It should not be so difficult to get an order right.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry. What was the name on your ticket and I’ll see if I can fix this for you.”

    (I pull the customer’s ticket and read the order to her.)

    Me: “Is that what you ordered?”

    Caller: “Yes, but I didn’t get it and my husband said he is very upset as well!”

    Me: “What did you get ma’am?”

    Caller: “Well there’s a large container of soup in here that I did not order and I haven’t even opened the Styrofoam boxes but I’m sure they’re wrong!”

    Me: “Could you open the boxes and check for me?”

    Caller: “Your d*** restaurant screwed up! There is no reason for me to open the boxes!”

    Me: “I’m just trying to find out what happened to your order.”

    Caller: “Fine!” *checks boxes* “Well the food in the boxes is right but I did not order any soup!”

    Me: “Don’t worry. The soup was placed in your bag by mistake. You weren’t charged for it.”

    Caller: “I’m still not happy about all this. I want to speak to a manager!”

    (My manager took the phone, and listened to the woman’s story.)

    Manager: “Just so I’m clear here ma’am, you’re angry because
    you got free soup?”

    Caller: *click*

    Related:
    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2
    Not Thinking Outside The Box

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