Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Calling At All Stations To The 19th Century
    (1,631 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    As The Price Decreases, So Does Brain Cell Count

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA |

    Customer: “I have a coupon here that says 25% off. What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means you get 25% off.”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “You will get 25% off your total price.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand. Why does it say that?”

    Me: “It’s a discount. They’ll give you a cheaper price.”

    Customer: “Huh? This coupon doesn’t make sense.”

    Me: “When you give your coupon to the attendant, they’ll take 25% off your ticket price.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a coupon.”

    Me: “…”

    Dinner Without A Show Is No Dinner At All

    | Buffalo, NY, USA |

    (I’m cashing out a customer and bagging his groceries.)

    Me: “And what’s in your bakery bag, sir?”

    Customer: “A cantaloupe. I put it in there to get ripe.”

    Me: “OK…”

    Customer: “You know what they do in California? They JUGGLE the fruit – the cantaloupes and the mangoes and the apples and such.”

    Me: “Oh, that must be neat to see–”

    Customer: “YOU SHOULD DO THAT!”

    Me: *laughing* “That’d be interesting, but I don’t know how to juggle.”

    Customer: “You mean to tell me you can’t juggle this fruit?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not…”

    Customer: “Then take the cantaloupe off. I don’t want it if you won’t juggle it for me.”

    Simple Conversations, Even Simpler Minds

    | St. Augustine, FL, USA |

    (A customer comes up to the window where you pick up your order after your number was called. All he ordered was a biscuit.)

    Customer: “Biscuit?”

    Cook: “Biscuit.”

    Customer: *cocks head to one side* “Biscuit?”

    Cook: “Biscuit.”

    Customer: *cocks head to other side* “BISCUIT?”

    Cook: *picks up biscuit, shows the customer each side slowly* “Bis-cuit.”

    Customer: “OH! BISCUIT!” *proceeds to take plate to table*

    Please Let These Questions Be Rhetorical, Part 2

    | Minnesota |

    Customer: “If I order a meat and cheese tray, do I have to get meat and cheese?”

    Me: “Well, we have other trays, like vegetable and fried appetizer trays.”

    Customer: “No, I want a meat and cheese tray. Do I have to get meat and cheese?”

    Me: *confused* “… You want just meat or just cheese? Is that what you want?”

    Customer: “NO! I want a meat and cheese tray and I want to know if I have to get meat and cheese!”

    Related:
    The Danger With Rhetorical Questions
    Please Let These Questions Be Rhetorical

    Batteries And Brains Not Included

    | Surrey, BC, Canada |

    Me: “[Video game store], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to return my 320.”

    Me: “You mean your Xbox 360?”

    Caller: “Yeah, whatever, it has numbers in it.”

    Me: “Okay, has it been opened?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Then I can’t return the 360 for you. I can only give you a defective exchange.”

    (At this point, caller gets very agitated and begins yelling and cursing on the phone.)

    Me: “Ma’am, can you stop yelling?”

    Caller: “I demand to speak to your manager! This is outrageous, you have no idea what you are doing in the retail business. Customers are ALWAYS right.”

    Me: “To a certain extent, yes. I can give you a defective exchange, but that’s it.”

    Caller: “Well, how the h*** am I supposed to know if my 360 works or not with the exchange?!”

    Me: “You’ll know if it blinks green lights or red lights when you plug it into the TV.”

    Caller: “I don’t have a f***ing TV!”


    Page 1,669/2,069First...1,6671,6681,6691,6701,671...Last