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    Why Cashiers Should Rule The World

    | Arlington, VA, USAArlington, VA, USA | Top

    (I’m a customer in the check out line. I’m buying a box of tampons for my mom, who is bedridden after surgery. One of the two customers standing behind me in line speaks up.)

    Other customer: “Ha-ha what a p****. He’s buying tampons.”

    (I ignore the two and move forwards to the cashier. She’s an attractive girl of about 20 years old.)

    Cashier: “$5.71 after the discount.”

    (I have no idea what discount she’s talking about, but I pay her and get my change.)

    Cashier: *with a smile on her face* “Here you go baby, I’m taking my break now and I’ll see you at home at 8. Just leave the tampons in my car, please.”

    (She leans over the counter and kisses me on the cheek. She then turns the light off on the register number and walks off towards the other side of the store. The two customers watched her with their jaws open and angrily walk off to another register.)

    Related:
    Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World, Part 2

    Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World

    The Lights Are Off, But Sadly Someone’s Home, Part 2

    | Oshawa, ON, Canada |

    Caller: “I’m trying to help my mother with a computer problem. Her internet keeps cutting out and just stops working without warning.”

    Me: “That’s unusual. Does the computer offer any error messages?”

    Caller: “No, that’s what’s really weird. The computer also just dies randomly.”

    Me: “The computer dies and the internet stops. Does anything else happen?”

    Caller: “She says the lights go out in this room.”

    Me: “Just that room?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Does she normally turn off the lights by using a wall switch?”

    Caller: “Yes, how did you know?”

    Me: “Is her computer plugged into something like a power bar, that is plugged into the same outlet as the light?”

    Caller: “Yes…oh. I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

    Related:
    The Lights Are Off, But Sadly Someone’s Home

    Fake On A Break

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    Me: “May I see some ID sir?”

    Customer: “Uh, yeah. Here.”

    (I take a look at the ID and am utterly speechless. It is by no means a bad fake, but the kid made one mistake when he ordered it. I motion over the bar manager, because I am utterly speechless. I hand him the fake.)

    Manager: *laughing* “Kid, your fake says you are 19!”

    (Everyone in line begins laughing, and the kid takes off. I notice at least three other people in line check the date on their licenses.)

    Short Changed In The Intelligence Department

    | Netherlands |

    Me: “That’ll be 21 euros, please.”

    (The customer hands me a 50 euro bill.)

    Me: “Would you have a 1 euro coin with that?”

    Customer: “No, only 2 euros.”

    Me: “Yes, please. That’ll be fine too.”

    (The customer hands me two one euro coins.)

    Vitamin R U O K

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    Me: “Good afternoon, thank you for calling [vitamin company]. This is [MyName]. How may I direct your call?” *long pause* “Hello?” *another long pause* “Hello?”

    Caller: “Hi, I got your number from a natural cure. ”

    Me: “How may I direct your call, sir?”

    Caller: “I was reading a book.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Caller: “It had your number. Are you a vitamin store? With…vitamins and things?”

    Me: “We are a vitamin manufacturer, sir. Do you have a question about a product?”

    Caller: “I got your number from a natural cure book. Have you read it?”

    Me: “What book, sir?”

    Caller: “A natural cures book.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I have not. Did you have a question about a product that we manufacture?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I got your number out of a natural cures book.”

    Me: “Yes, there are a number of books that mention our products.”

    Caller: *pauses* “…It was a BOOK.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I’m just trying to determine who can best assist you.”

    Caller: *pauses again* “BOOOOOOOOOOOOK…”

    Me: “Let me connect you with customer service, sir…”

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