Same Difference

| Portsmouth, UK | Extra Stupid

(We have an offer on in store: buy one backpack, get another backpack free. A customer comes to me to pay for one backpack and a pair of shoes.)

Me: “Sorry, but the promotion only works when you buy two backpacks. You will then get one of them free.”

Customer: “Oh, I see. So it’s just backpacks…just backpacks…just backpacks…backpacks.”

(The customer wanders off, presumably in search of another backpack. She eventually returns.)

Customer: “This, please.” *shows me a belt*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, the belt isn’t in the deal.”

Customer: “But I’m buying a backpack…A BACKPACK! You said it was free with a backpack!”

Me: “I’m sorry. What I meant was that you can get a free backpack with your other backpack.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

(The customer wanders off again, and once again returns with a new item.)

Customer: “I’ll just take these, then.” *shows me a pair of shoes*

Me: “Those aren’t in the deal either, I’m afraid. It’s only backpacks.”

Customer: “But it’s two of the same! You said they had to be the same!”

(After going back and forth for another 5 minutes, I finally take her to pick out a backpack, specifically. She pays and leaves, still mumbling about “two of the same”.)

This Deal Is A Steal, Part 2

, | Massachusetts, USA | Criminal/Illegal

(A woman enters with one of our store bags in her hand and a receipt in the other.)

Me: “Hello, is this a return?”

Customer: “Yes, it is.”

(I take a glance at the receipt.)

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t do returns after 30 days of the purchase. You bought this item in March 2007. That was over four years ago.”

Customer: “What’s your point?”

Me: “Well, I can’t return this, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay, I guess that’s fine. I’ll be back. I need to buy a few things.”

(The customer gets back in line after 15 minutes.)

Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “Sure did! Here’s a coupon I have for my purchase.”

(I glance down at the coupon.)

Me: “Ma’am, this coupon expired in June 2008. That was over three years ago.”

Customer: “Why does your store not honor this? It’s a coupon!”

Me: “Yes, but it’s an expired coupon.”

(The customer angrily storms off, taking her unpaid item with her out the door. I am forced to write down her license plate number and call the cops on her.)

Related:
This Deal Is A Steal

I’ll Take An Album Cover For 7000

| California, USA | Uncategorized

(I work in the OTC section of a well-known pharmacy chain. I’m stocking the shelves in an aisle when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’ve looked all over here. Where are your hemorrhoid wipes?”

Me: “Oh, those are actually down on Aisle 20.”

Customer: “Really? Why are they over there and not in this aisle with the rest of the anal care?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Anal care!” *points at the aisle’s sign*

(The sign she was pointing at? “Analgesics”.)

S-T-U-P-I-D

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Food & Drink

(A woman, about 40 years old, is looking at all our different food and drink items on a list on our front window.)

Me: “Hi! What can I get you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, uh…what’s j-u-i-c-e?”

Me: *pause* “Er, that’s juice.”

Customer: “Oh.”

(Stands there apparently thinking for about 10 seconds.)

Customer: “I don’t know what that is. Never mind!” *walks away*

It Keeps Saying Error

| Eau Claire, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a cell phone store. From time to time, we have to fix phones for people. Today, an elderly woman is asking me to look at her phone.)

Customer: “There is something wrong with my phone. Could you fix it for me?”

Me: “Sure, what’s it doing?”

Customer: “Well, it won’t make any phone calls.”

Me: “No problem. Can I see your phone for a moment?”

(The customer digs through her purse, pulls out a calculator, and hands it to me.)

Customer: “See, I punch in a phone number and nothing happens.”

Me: “Erm, did you grab this by mistake? This is a calculator, not a cell phone.” *hands back the calculator*

(The customer takes the calculator back, looks at it, then looks at me blankly before walking away.)

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