November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Storm Of Protest

| Denver, CO, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I would like to make a birthday reservation for July 12.”

Me: “Okay, we can certainly do that for you.”

Customer: “Before I do that, could you tell me what the weather is going to be like that day?”

Me: “Ma’am, that visit date is over a month away. We don’t have any idea what the weather will be like.”

Customer: “But, I thought you had one of those weather-predicting machines…”

Give Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Canadians

| Auburn, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(I’m a Canadian citizen, but I’ve lived in the US for 12 years.)

Student: “Canadians talk funny.”

Me: “I’m actually from Canada, you know.”

Student: “But, you don’t live in the woods!”

Me: *amused* “Well, not all Canadians live in the woods, you know. They live in cities as well, just like here.”

Student: “So, did you come here to have a better life?”

Yukon See It On A Map, Part 3
Yukon Not Spend It
Yukon Not Believe This Juan
Yukon Spend It
Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2
Yukon See It On A Map

Literally Scream For Ice Cream

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Uncategorized

(Today’s featured ice cream flavor of the day was ‘Boston Pie’.)

Me: “What kind of ice cream would you like?”

Little girl: “A scoop of the Boston Massacre, please.”

Father: “Sorry. That’s what she’s studying in school right now.”

Sinfully Delicious, Part 2

| Brampton, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(I am working as a barista at a coffee shop. Two large hot chocolates total $6.66, which my coworkers and I joke about.)

Me: “Hi. What can I get you?”

Customer: “God be with you.”

Me: “I’m sure He is, ma’am. What can I get you?”

Customer: “Well, you have those vanilla hot chocolates, yes?”

Me: “Yes. In fact, we do.”

Customer: “Oh, wonderful! My dear friend brought me one some time ago, and it was just sinfully good. I have to say it. So when I saw your shop from the road, I simply had to tell my sister to stop. And so, of course, she must have one too!”

(I recognise the religious nature of the customers.)

Me: “Would you like anything else with that at all? Uh… these cookies are dirt cheap and really good…”

Customer: “Oh, no. Mustn’t give in to gluttony, the Lord knows.”

Me: “Nothing else at all?”

Customer: “No, thank you.”

Me: “All right, then.”

(I ring them up.)

Me: “That’ll be…” *winces* “$6.66.”

Customer: *going pale* “Pardon?”

Me: *sheepishly* “Your total is $6.66, ma’am.”

(The customer is silent for several moments. She then crosses herself and dashes out.)

Me, to next customer: “What can I get you?”

Customer #2: “Tell me, do you get any extra brimstone with that deal?”

Sinfully Delicious

Quite Dim At Sums

| Lewiston, ID, USA | Uncategorized

(The customer punches in her debit number at the end of the transaction.)

Customer: “Now, which key do I press?”

(There are 3 buttons. Cancel (x, red button), back (left arrow, yellow button) and enter (carriage return, green button).)

Me: “The green one.”

Customer: “I can’t read those Chinese pictures.”