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  • Application Confrontation, Part 2

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Top

    (The store is relatively empty, save for me, a mother with her son, and a guy sitting on the floor next to one of our display models who is hastily filling out a job application. The boy goes and starts playing on the display model, at which point the man reaches over and unplugs it from the wall.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir. That boy was playing on that.”

    Man: “I need to get this finished! I can’t concentrate with all the noise!”

    Me: “Sir, please plug that back in.”

    Man: “I said I need to get this done! Just give me one minute here, okay?”

    (I go over and plug the display back in myself. The man glares at me and yanks the cord out again.)

    Man: “One minute! Seriously, I just want to get this done. Is that too much to ask?”

    (The boy’s mother comes over.)

    Mother: “Sir, as the associate said, my son would like to play the game. If it’s bothering you, then surely you can move somewhere else to finish your paperwork.”

    Man: “Come on, please!”

    Me: “Sir, she’s right. If you want, I can get you a chair so you can sit at the counter and finish your forms.”

    (The man grumbles, but nevertheless gets up off the floor. I go grab a chair for him from the back and presently the mother and son approach the counter with a pile of games. I ring them up and see them on their way out. The man approaches me.)

    Man: “Look, I understand you have to suck up to the people who spend their money in here. Just admit it to me: you agree that game is s***, and the kid’s tastes in games are s*** for wanting to play it.”

    (I am in shocked silence.)

    Man: “Where’s the manager, so I can give this to him and set up an interview?”

    Me: “You’re talking to her, sir.”

    Related:
    Application Confrontation

    Making A Hug(e) Difference

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m having a very bad day, having dealt with a series of unpleasant customers. I have a half-hearted smile on my face, when a six year old boy walks in. He stares at me for a second, then gives me a hug.)

    Me: “Thanks, but where is your mommy?”

    Boy: “She’ll be here soon.”

    Me: “She might not want you hugging random strangers.”

    (He shakes his head.)

    Boy: “Mommy says retail people need more hugs. You looked like you needed one.”

    Buying Bread Costs You Dough

    | Hull, UK | Uncategorized

    Me: “I’m sorry, the bread isn’t scanning on to the till. I will just go and check the price on the shelf.”

    Customer: “When I was a boy like you, I used to work everything out in my head. None of this till business.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I can’t seem to find where you got that particular type of bread from. May I ask where you took it from?”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous. Is your manager here?”

    Me: “She leaves me in the shop on Sundays. Did you get the bread from here?”

    Customer: “No. I got it from the supermarket.”

    Me: “So, you’ve already paid for it at another shop, sir?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry. My brain isn’t what it used to be.”

    Me: “That’s why I use a till, sir.”

    About To Have A Power Struggle

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello, sir. You’ve reached [company]’s technical support.”

    Customer: “Hello! My computer seems to be having some issues. I used your software just the other day and suddenly, ah…wait a minute.”

    (There is a significant pause.)

    Customer: “How do you make it go?”

    Me: “The software? Well, you can look for the icon on your desktop, or you can use the search-”

    Customer: “No, no! The box! The, the uh, computer!”

    Me: “Uh…press the power button?”

    (A considerable pause follows.)

    Customer: “Liar.”

    Taco Bill

    | Tuscaloosa, AL, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Can I pay for my meal in guacamole?”

    Me: “I–excuse me?”

    Customer: “My wife makes a mean guacamole.”

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