Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Making A Mute Point
    (2,386 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Hulk Smash Bagels

    , | California, USA | Top

    (I am cashier at a small cafe in California. Two tourists, a man and his teenage son, walk into the cafe. His son decides what he wants and his father starts yelling at him.)

    Me: “Sir, what’s wrong? Something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Can you get me a sandwich and a soda? Oh, and get this guy some soup.”

    Customer’s son: “Dad, I don’t want some soup! I just want a bagel!”

    Customer: “SON, YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO ME WHEN YOU EAT BAGELS! YOU KNOW IT BRINGS BAD MEMORIES!” *storms out*

    Customer’s son: “Dad!” *runs after him*

    (From that day onward, I always suggested the soup.)

    Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Stuffing

    | New York, NY, USA |

    Customer: *ordering stuffing*” I want that container, that one in the middle, yep.”

    Me: “Do you want this whole thing full?”

    Customer: “Oh god, no. I want a little more than a half… but a little less than a third. Not too much.”

    Coworkers: They Make Life Worth Living, Part 2

    , | Denver, CO, USA | Top

    (Everyone I work with knows I’m gay. A customer has just paid for her order.)

    Customer: “Stop staring at my boobs!”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Customer: “You heard me!”

    Me: “Lady, I was just counting the money you gave me.”

    Customer: “No, you were staring at my boobs and pretending to count the money. Let me talk to your manager right now! I’m going to get you fired!”

    (Before I can say anything, one of my male coworkers comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my chest.)

    Coworker: “I’m the manager. Are you bothering my boyfriend?”

    Customer: *takes her food and leaves*

    Coworker’s girlfriend, to me: “Hey, wanna come over tonight?”

    Related:
    Coworkers: They Make Life Worth Living

    But How Do They Squeeze Him Into This Tiny Little Case

    , , | Buffalo, NY, USA |

    (A customer comes up to the counter with a DVD.)

    Me: “You all set?”

    Customer: “Is this a Rick James DVD?”

    Me: “Yes, it is.”

    Customer: “So you mean I can put this in my DVD player and look at Rick James!?”

    Me: “Yes, I believe that is the technology.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m gonna have to try it out, man!”

    Marital Bliss In All Its Forms, Part 3

    | Sydney, Australia | Top

    (A husband and wife couple have me on speakerphone so that they can get help troubleshooting. I’m typing up some notes while their PC reboots, which they can apparently hear…)

    Customer: “Wow, that sounds like a machine gun. ‘That your typing, sweetheart?”

    Me: *laughs* “Yeah, it is… I can type pretty fast.”

    Customer: “You married at all?”

    Me: “Nope, not yet. Why do you ask?”

    Customer: “Doesn’t surprise me love, with fingers that fast you don’t need a man!”

    Me: *mouth agape*

    (Suddenly, I hear a smacking noise followed by the man cursing.)

    Customer’s wife: “Ignore Ron… he’s a pig, dear. He’s lucky he’s married himself. I’m sure you’re lovely.”

    Customer: “Isn’t it time a house fell on you, my darling wife?”

    Me: *mouth still agape*

    Related:
    Marital Bliss, In All Its Forms, Part 2
    Marital Bliss, In All Its Forms

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic.


    Page 1,662/1,965First...1,6601,6611,6621,6631,664...Last