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    Size Matters

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

    (My job is just to fold/hang the clothes from the fitting rooms and put them back. A customer comes up to me with two identical shirts.)

    Customer: “What’s the difference between a small and a medium?”

    Me: “Um, the small is smaller than the medium?”

    Customer: “I know that! Is there any other difference?”

    Me: “Not really.”

    Customer: “What kind of salesman are you? You don’t know that much about clothes.”

    Me: “I don’t sell the clothes. I just fold them.”

    Customer: “So you don’t know if there’s any difference?”

    Me: “They’re the same thing. One is just smaller.”

    (The customer hangs the medium on a rack, hangs the small in front of the medium. She compares the two shirts for a good 5 minutes before going with the small “because it’s smaller.”)

    A Dead Giveaway

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Uncategorized

    (I am answering the switchboard for a large hospital.)

    Caller: “Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me what phone company the hospital uses?”

    Me: “I’m not sure. The person that has that information left at 5:00 p.m. But if you call our purchasing office in the morning, they can tell you.”

    Caller: “Oh, no! It is a matter of grave importance that I find out right now!”

    Me: “What is the situation? Maybe I can help?”

    Caller: “My grandmother died there about a week ago and she didn’t have a will. I know for a fact that all the phone companies record all of our conversations. So, I thought maybe grandma called someone while she was in the hospital and told them what she left me.”

    Our Sandwiches Are Canine Benign

    | Brewer, ME, USA | Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

    Customer: “What is in your turkey melt?”

    Me: “Turkey and cheese, and any veggies you like.”

    Customer: “What other meats?”

    Me: “Turkey.”

    Customer: “And…”

    Me: “Dog?”

    (The customer still ordered the turkey melt, but watched very closely to make sure dog wasn’t part of the menu.)

    I Dreamed A Dream Of Calls Gone By

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

    (I work at a place that does repairs for Sony computers, stereos, cameras and the like. Hence, our store has the word ‘Sony’ in the title.)

    Me: “Good morning, [company name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is that Sony Music?”

    Me: “No, sorry, this is Sony Repairs.”

    Customer: “I’m trying to get through to Simon Cowell. He works with Susan Boyle.”

    Me: “No, sorry. We repair Sony laptops.”

    Customer: “So, you’re not Sony Music. Repairs are no good. Thanks.”

    Not So Sweet Sixteen

    | Melbourne, Australia | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hi! I’m looking to buy an MP3 player for my daughter.”

    Me: “Sure, what capacity were you looking at?”

    Customer: “Hold on.”

    (She takes out a sheet of paper with size specifications and a rather juvenile depiction of the device and hands it to me.)

    Me: *laughs* “Aww, that’s cute! How old is your daughter?”

    Customer: “Sixteen.”

    Me: “Oh.”

    Customer: “Oh, don’t worry! She’s a little kooky.”

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