Rufus Is Stranger Than Fiction

| Slidell, LA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am a customer and overhear this conversation between two teenagers looking at the rodents.)

Girl: “Oh my gosh! Is that a bald rat?”

Boy: “You mean a hairless rat? Yeah.”

Girl: “They really have those?”

Boy: “Of course.”

Girl: “Wow! I thought those were only in Kim Possible!”

The Land Of The Free And Home Of The Portable Umbrella

| Anchorage, AK, USA | Food & Drink

(I am clearing off the tables on the deck of the restaurant because it has just started raining. Most people have moved inside.)

Customer: “Are you guys kicking us off the deck?”

Me: “No, sir, you are welcome to stay out here as long as you wish.”

Customer: “In that case, can you move one of the tables with the umbrellas so they cover my wife?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the tables are bolted down to the deck and I can’t move them.”

Customer: “The tables…they don’t move? But this is America!”

Sanguine Mealtime Entertainment

| Rockville, MD, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “Do you have any crayons?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. Unfortunately, we are all out and our shipment doesn’t come in until Tuesday.”

Customer: “Well what is my child supposed to color with?! Her blood?”

An Ate For Two Special

| Fort Lee, NJ, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have one Penne Milano.”

Me: “Okay, is there anything else I can get you?”

Customer: “One should be enough to feed eight people, right?”

Me: “No, unfortunately. At most, it could feed two.”

Customer: “Well, how can I make it feed eight?”

Me: “Perhaps you can order more than one?”

So Good It’s Not Even There

| Netherlands | Rude & Risque

Me: “Thanks for calling [store], this is [name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, I just wanted to know whether you have any topless bikinis?”

Me: “I’m sorry, strapless bikinis, you mean?”

Customer: “Yes, topless bikinis! Do you have any?”

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