Faster Than You Can Think

| Lacey, WA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work in a very large retailer in the sporting goods dept. The day of my four-year mark last September, I get this call.)

Me: “Sporting goods, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to check to see if you have this particular scooter in stock.”

Me: “What kind of scooter?”

Customer: “It’s a Razor. I think it’s a blue one. Your website says it’s $197. I want to see if you have it.”

Me: “Let me check. Hold on.

(I place customer on hold and go check our stock.)

Me: “Yeah, we have two. One has a speed of 10 MPH and that one is like an old foot powered scooter with an electric motor. We also have a European styled-scooter with a speed of 15 MPH.”

Customer: “Mmmm, okay, does the 15 MPH scooter go faster than the 10MPH scooter?”

Me: “Um, yeah. That kinda tends to happen.”

Customer: “So that’s faster, right?”

Me: “Yeah, it is faster.”

Customer: “Ok, yeah. Thanks!”

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7

| United Kingdom | Family & Kids

(I hand out a vocabulary list to a class of 8-9 year olds.)

Me: “Does anyone know any of the words?”

Student: “I know what twilight means!”

Me: “Go on, tell us what you think it means.”

Student: “Actually, I’m not completely sure, but it’s got something to do with vampires…”

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

Accessories Are Contagious

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Rude & Risque

(This happens just after a customer finishes purchasing a phone and is asking what accessories it comes with.)

Customer: “So this comes with an STD card, right?”

Me: “An SD card?”

Customer: *realizing what she said* “OH! I meant an SD card! Oh my God!”

Simple Menus Vs. The Simple-Minded

, | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Our shop has a very basic menu of chicken burgers, chips, and chicken pieces.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I don’t know what this is…”

(The customer stares blankly at the menu for about 10 seconds.)

Customer: “No. No! I don’t know what any of this is!” *walks away*

Me: *speechless*

Honesty In A Modern Age, Part 2

| USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “I know this app is new, but I just can’t figure out why you would release something that clearly doesn’t work!”

Me: “Hmm…everything looks okay on our end with your registration and activation.”

Caller:Something is wrong because this just doesn’t work! I can’t believe it!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m not sure what else to try. Are you sure you’re in a Wi-Fi hotspot?”

(There’s a long pause.)

Caller: *starts laughing* “You aren’t going to believe this. I’m the Chief Technical Officer for my company and I’m still in airplane mode.”

Me: “So you’ve turned your Wi-Fi back on then?”

Caller: “Yeah. I feel kind of dumb right now.” *pauses* “Please don’t tell anyone.”

Me: *laughing* “My lips are sealed, sir.”

Related:
Honesty In A Modern Age

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