October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Judging By Their Cover

| Augusta, GA, USA | Books & Reading, Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

(I’m stocking the front-of-store. A couple asks me for help.)

Wife: “Hi, we’re looking for a gift for a really weird friend of ours. He’s really hard to shop for.”

Me: “Sure, what sort of thing are you looking for?”

Husband: “No, he’s really weird. He actually likes to read books.”

Wife: “Hush, honey. He works in a bookstore. He’s probably weird too.”

Miles Away From The Answer, Relatively Speaking

| Champaign, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Uncategorized

(I am filling out a credit application for a couple. We reach the question, ‘nearest living relative’.)

Customer: *thinking for a few moments* “About 50 miles!”

Indentured Shoe-vitude

| North Bay, ON, Canada | Spouses & Partners, Top

(I overhear an older married couple.)

Husband: “What are we doing here?”

Wife: “What do you see all around you?”

Husband: “Shoes.”

Wife: “That’s right.”

Husband: “Crap.”

Ignoring The Staff Is Its Own Reward

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Top

(During the Christmas rush, a customer comes into my line talking on her cell phone.)

Me: “Hello. Would you like a protection plan with this?”

(Customer ignores me.)

Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us, ma’am?”

(Customer continues to ignore me.)

Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt. Have a nice day!”

(Customer stops talking on her phone and looks at me.)

Customer: “What about my rewards card?”

Me: “Well, I asked you if you had one, but you were too busy talking.”

Customer: “So you’re saying it’s my fault?”

Me: “Yes.”

28 Years Later

, | Bloomington, IN, USA | Crazy Requests, Movies & TV, Top

(A little old lady approaches the counter.)

Little old lady: “Do you carry flamethrowers?

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