Featured Story:
  • Providing A Self-Service Service
    (1,880 thumbs up)
  • April Theme Of The Month: Losing My Religion!
    Submit your story today!

    Stupidity Just A Stone’s Throw Away

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for the birthstone for May.”

    Me: “Well, the birthstone for May is emerald, but we don’t carry any emeralds.”

    (The customer walks over and looks in the case. She sees a green stone.)

    Customer: “What about this green one?”

    Me: “Oh! That’s peridot. That’s the birthstone for August.”

    Customer: “Who’s August?”

    Zombies Need Life Insurance Too

    | VA, USA | Uncategorized, Zombies

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to find out about getting life insurance for my sister.”

    Me: “Okay, I can connect you with an agent.”

    Customer: “Wait, I have a question.”

    Me: “No problem, what is your question?”

    Customer: “Well, my sister died two days ago. Is that going to make it more expensive?”

    Zombies Need Retail Contractors Too
    Zombies Need Retail Assistance Too
    Zombies Need Tech Support Too
    Zombies Need Healthcare Too
    Zombies Need High Speed Internet Too

    Caller On Line (Number) Two

    | Emeryville, CA, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: ”Thank you for calling [store]. This is Ella. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I need [muddled].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t really hear you.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “I said I can’t hear you too well.”

    Customer: “Oh, god d*** it! Hang on!”

    (There is a lot of grunting, a fart, and then the toilet flushes)

    Customer: “Can you hear me now?!”

    Good Students Stick To The Books

    | MI, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I need books for my son’s chemistry lab class. No used copies, please. I only want new.”

    (I come back bringing a new copy of the book and give it to her. The cover of the book is made out of paper that has a shiny texture.)

    Customer: “This book is all sticky! Do you have any copies that aren’t all sticky?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. They are all like that. That’s just how they are made.”

    Customer: “Are you sure these are new? They feel sticky! My son can’t have used books. These feel like they’ve been used!”

    Me: “The book is brand new. We don’t even sell any used copies of it, because students have to write in it and tear out pages.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’m going to look somewhere else for that book. Do you have the books for his other class?”

    (I look up the class and all we have are used copies. I bring out the best looking used copy we have and offer it. It looks like it hasn’t been opened.)

    Customer: “No, this is used. I can’t buy anything that is used! Someone might have read it in bed!”

    Outcome TV Determined

    | Broken Arrow, OK, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer calls in to order a movie from an ad that was just on television.)

    Customer: “I want the [name of movie].”

    Me: “Okay, do you want it on DVD or VHS?”

    Customer: “What’s a DVD?”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll send it to you on VHS.”

    Customer: “What’s a VHS?”

    Me: “A video tape.”

    Customer: “A video tape? What the heck is that?”

    Me: “The tape you put in your VCR to make the movie come on.”

    Customer: “VCR?”

    Me: “Is there a box on your TV?”

    Customer: “What’s a TV?”

    Me: “Your television, the thing you just watched and saw this ad on.”

    Customer: “Please just give me the show. You’re making this very confusing.”

    Me: “I need to know what format to send it to you.”

    Customer: “I don’t know what you’re talking about! My son makes the pictures come on.”

    Page 1,657/2,619First...1,6551,6561,6571,6581,659...Last