• Gloating About Gluten
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Must Be Really Hungry

    , | Annapolis, MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Uncategorized

    Me: “Your table is not quite ready yet. Let me give you this pager it will go off as soon as the table is set.”

    Customer: “Ok, thank you. What’s the range on this pager?”

    Me: “Just on this side of the courtyard.”

    Customer: “Alright, and if I lick it, will it electrocute me?”

    Me: *pause* “Please…just…don’t.”

    Discounted Intelligence

    | North Bay, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Math & Science, Uncategorized

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “I’m fine, and you?”

    Me: “Also fine, thanks for asking! Just to let you know everything in the store today is 40% off.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “I….I don’t know how else to explain that to you.”

    Totally, Like, Aguamenti

    | Lawrenceville, NJ, USA | Books & Reading, Uncategorized

    Customer: “I’d like to get a new copy of this book.”

    (The customer puts a very wet Harry Potter book on the desk.)

    Customer: “It got wrecked and I really want to finish it.”

    Me: “No problem. How did you ruin it?”

    Customer: “It was very good…”


    Me: “…and?”

    Customer: *slightly sheepish* “I was reading it in the shower.”

    Totally, Like, Excruciatus

    Let Me Just Go Check In The Back-terium

    | Rockland, MN, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Your Stilton doesn’t have enough blue cheese in it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We should be getting some more in tomorrow if you’d like to come back.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just go in the back and put more penicillin in it or whatever?”

    Fritzl Be One Of Those Days

    , | Morgantown, WV, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [fast food]. What would you like today?”

    Customer: *stares wide-eyed for a few moments* “Well, aren’t you the most adorable creature I have ever seen!”

    Me: “Thank you, sir. Can I interest you in our special today?”

    Customer: “I could just steal you and take you home in my wallet to live in my basement! My wife doesn’t like the basement, but it can be quite homey!”

    Me: “That’s nice, sir.”

    Customer: “Hurry! Into my wallet before anyone else decides to steal you!”

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