Featured Story:
  • Got A Tip-Off About Grandpa’s Antics
    (2,291 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Being Buried In Your Mortgage

    | Beaverton, OR, USA |

    (I specialize in modifying loans to make an existing payment more manageable. These are called ‘loan modifications’.)

    Customer: “I’m calling for a ‘remortification’.”

    Me: *joking* “Okay, so you were previously mortified?”

    Customer: “Yes, once before. My payments are too high now. I need to be mortified again.”

    You Twin Some, You Lose Some

    | UK |

    (A customer comes to a sample stand.)

    Me: “Would you like to try some noodles?”

    Customer: “Sure. Wow, this is so tasty.”

    (A very similar looking customer comes in 15 minutes later. He is in a different shirt and pants.)

    Customer: “Oh, good. There’s still some noodles left. Can I try some too?”

    Me: “Didn’t you just try it? It’s one per customer.”

    Customer: “That was my twin brother. We live right across the street and he told me about the noodles.”

    Me: “Wow, so both you and your brother have a bandage on that hand?”

    Customer: “Uh…” *walks away*

    Getting Pea’d Off Is A Bad Sign

    | Poulsbo, WA, USA |

    (Because of a food shortage due to weather, we are required by management to cut back on our vegetables. In front of our veggie selection is a sign explaining the situation.)

    Customer: “This piece of paper is in the way. I can’t see some of your veggies. Can you take it down?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not allowed to remove or alter any signs posted by my manager. We have a list of all the veggies we offer here.”

    (I point to our veggies list, which is right next to it.)

    Customer: “Why are you being so skimpy with the veggies? It’s not like you don’t have more.”

    Me: “Actually, our supply is very limited right now due to our shortage of produce.”

    Customer: “You need to have a sign explaining this.”

    Me: “We do. It’s the piece of paper you wanted me to move.”

    Customer: “No one is going to see that!”

    Congra-duh-lations

    | Chattanooga, TN, USA | Top

    (A customer comes to pick up her cake. I hand it to her and she starts to laugh.)

    Customer: “You’ve spelled this wrong, honey.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can fix it for you right away. How do you spell the name?”

    Customer: “The name is right. It’s ‘Congratulations’ you’ve spelled wrong.”

    (I look at the cake but see no error.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t see a mistake.”

    Customer: “Right here. You’ve spelled it with a ‘t’ instead of a ‘d’. It’s okay. You can just give me a discount and I’ll go on with it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I’m not authorized to give discounts.”

    Customer: “I want to speak to the manager.”

    (Long story short, we ended up having to find a dictionary to prove I had spelled it right. She didn’t get a discount.)

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13

    | NJ, USA |

    (I am taking an order from a customer.)

    Me: “I have a credit card on file for you. It is a card ending in 4312. Should we use that one?”

    Caller: “I have no idea whose card that is, so charge that one.”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 11
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 10
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 9
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 8
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 7
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 6
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 5
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 4
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 3
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 2
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession

    Page 1,656/2,563First...1,6541,6551,6561,6571,658...Last