Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle
    (1,849 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Identity Bereft

    | McAllen, TX, USA |

    Caller: “What is your name?”

    Me: “Jennifer.”

    Caller: “Jonathan?”

    Me: “Jennifer.”

    Caller: “Jonathan?”

    Me: “JENNIFER.”

    Caller: “Jonathan?”

    Me: *giving up* “Yes, Jonathan.”

    Caller: “But that’s a boys name!”

    Me: “Yes, yes it is…”

    Dr. Jekyll And Mrs. Hyde, Part 2

    | Victoria, BC, Canada |

    (I’m ringing up a sweater for a customer at the till.]

    Customer: “This isn’t for me. It’s for that homeless guy across the street.”

    Me: “That’s very kind of you, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I know! It’s important to give back to the less fortunate.”

    (As I’m finishing with the transaction, she’s glances around the store.)

    Customer: “Wow, it’s pretty dead in here.”

    Me: “Yeah, we get a slow day every now and again.”

    Customer: “Well, I know that. I figured there would be a lot of people cashing their welfare cheques today.”

    (I’m not sure what to day to that, so I finish the transaction. As I’m putting the sweater in the bag with the rest of her items…)

    Customer: “Woah! Put that in a different bag, please. I don’t want that bum’s sweater touching my stuff!”

    Related:
    Dr. Jekyll And Mrs. Hyde

    The Imperial Left Or The Metric Left

    | London, UK |

    Guest: “How do you get to a cash machine??”

    Me: “You exit the hotel, turn left, and then–”

    Guest: “Turn left?”

    Me: “Yes, left.”

    Guest: “Left?”

    Me: “Yes, left.” *pointing with my hand*

    Guest: *confused* “Left…right…”

    Me: “Left in England is the same as left in America.”

    Guest: “Oh, okay! I get it!”

    When Age Equals I.Q.

    | Bristol, UK |

    (Our car insurance policies include an extension that lets customers drive other vehicles with minimum-level cover, but it’s only available to customers over 25.)

    Me: “Good morning, how can I help?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’ve got a policy with you. Will it let me drive other cars?”

    Me: “It might. Could I ask your age, please?”

    Customer: “I’m 23.”

    Me: “I’m afraid not, you have to be 25 years old or over before we give you that extension.”

    Customer: “Oh, ok, how do I get that, then?”

    Me: “…you have to turn 25.”

    Customer: “Oh! When will that be?”

    Phishing For Answers

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    Me: “This is [company name].”

    Customer: “Hi, who’s this?”

    Me: “Are you calling for tech support?”

    Customer: “Oh, I guess it’s the wrong number. Well, what do you guys do?”

    Me: “We’re an online virtual conferencing company. We allow you to host meetings online with webcams and slideshows.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s cool, anything else you do, other features?”

    Me: “We also have a feature that lets you remotely take control of another person’s computer, or show them your own.”

    Customer: “Oh really? That’s pretty awesome. So can you take control of anybody’s computer?”

    Me: “Yeah, as long as their system supports the software.”

    Customer: “So, can you do it without their permission…like, can you use it to hack into somebody’s computer with it?”

    Me: “No, guests must be attending the conference and give permission for this.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’m not interested then.” *click*

    Page 1,652/2,158First...1,6501,6511,6521,6531,654...Last