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    Waste Not, Want Not, Part 2

    , | Hudson Valley, NY, USA | Food & Drink

    (It’s about two hours before closing and I’m cleaning up our breakfast area, which includes two rotating ovens that often have burnt bagels sitting in the back of them. A customer comes over after I’ve thrown the remaining ones in the trash. Keep in mind it’s late at night.)

    Customer: “What are you doing?”

    Me: “I’m cleaning up the bagels for the night. I can’t believe the amount of bagels people leave here sometimes.”

    (The customer points at one of the more badly burnt bagels in the trash.)

    Customer: “That’s mine.”

    Me: *jokingly* “I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t suppose you still want it, do you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I do.” *takes it out of the trash and walks off*

    Waste Not, Want Not

    If It Don’t Make Dollars, It Don’t Make Sense

    | Texas, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Customer: “How much is a push pop?”

    Me: “75 cents.”

    Customer: “What is that, a dollar?”

    Me: *speechless*

    A Slice Of Self Entitlement

    | St. Paul, MN, USA | Food & Drink

    (The pizza shop I work at sells cups for the fountain soda machine where you fill your drinks yourself. Like most restaurants, we also offer special cups for customers who haven’t purchased a drink.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Your machine is out of [soda brand]. Go back there and change it immediately!”

    Me: “Well, I am sorry but we are out [soda brand] and we won’t be getting anymore until tomorrow. All of the other sodas work fine, though.”

    Customer: “Then I want a refund!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Because that’s a water cup.”

    Conveniently Ambiguous

    | West Branch, IA, USA | Uncategorized

    (The store I work at has an unfortunate name that, although not intended, sounds very “adult”.)

    Me: “We go all out at [store]! How may I help you?”

    Caller: *sounding concerned* “Yes, hello. I was just looking over my husband’s credit card bill and I saw a charge to [store] from a few months back. I was wondering…what kind of a business are you?”

    Me: “We are a convenience store, ma’am.”

    Caller: “Oh, good, thank you! You have a fantastic day now.”

    Man, in the background of the call: “I told you!”

    Role-play In Everyday Life

    | Onley, VA, USA | At The Checkout

    (I am working as a cashier when a customer comes up with a lot of school supplies.)

    Me: “Let me guess, you’re a teacher, right?”

    Customer #1: “Guilty as charged.”

    (We start talking about teaching as I’m bagging her merchandise. Another customer starts unloading her cart onto my conveyor.)

    Customer #2: “Hey! Can you guess what I am?”

    (I take a look at her items. They are all fresh produce, fruits, and veggies.)

    Me: “I…uh…”

    Customer #2: “I’M A RABBIT!”

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