October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

The Punishment Is Fitting

| Boston, MA, USA | Uncategorized

(There are no associates at our store just to clean the fitting rooms. It’s up to us to clean it out. I am checking the fitting rooms, when a mother and daughter come out. Clothes are everywhere. There are at least 20 pieces, inside out and on the floor.)

Daughter: *starts to pick up clothes* “Shouldn’t we clean this up?”

Mother: “No, honey. That’s their job. Leave it.”

(They walk out with one item in hand. They come back a moment later as I am cleaning.)

Mother: “Excuse me, miss. There is no one at the register. I need to buy this.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. I was cleaning this up. Give me one second and I will be right there.”

Mother: *turns red* “Oh, yes. Take your time.”

Driving Home The Law

| Flint, MI, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer drives in to our car dealership.)

Customer: “I am an important lawyer, and I have a big case this morning! When I arrived at court, I couldn’t get my very important paperwork out of the trunk! My remote isn’t working! I demand that you fix it!”

Me: “That is very strange. So the key isn’t working either?”

(The customer turns three different shades of red, gets back into her car, and drives away.)

Clap-top Repair

, | MD, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I can’t get the microphone on my laptop to work. Do you think you could help?”

Me: “What were you trying to do with it?”

Customer: “I can’t get it to hear what I’m saying.”

Me: “That’s pretty common. The settings are probably a little off. Let me take a look.”

(I boot the computer. After switching a few settings, I get the microphone to work.)

Me: “There, you should be all set. The settings were just wrong. You should be fine now.”

(I clap into the microphone so she can see the sound bars going up and down. She thinks I am clapping in celebration of her now fixed computer. She begins to clap rapidly along with me.)

Customer: *clapping* “Yay! This is the best day ever!”

Stalking Is A Matter Of Wife And Death

| Watchung, NJ, USA | Top

(I am working the register. An old woman walks up to me looking very flustered.)

Customer: “Sir, would you please call security. There’s a man following me.”

(I hear the voice of a child that is so small that I can’t see him over the counter.)

Child: “Grandma, that’s Grandpa!”

Ink Isn’t The Only Thing Running Low

, | Location undisclosed | Uncategorized

Customer: “Whenever I try to print my statement from your website, it always comes out really light. I don’t have this problem with other websites. Are you guys out of ink?”

Me: “No. Are you using your home computer?”

Customer: “Yes. I already called the ink cartridge company. They said it’s not their fault.”

Me: “Well, if you’re trying to print at home, it’s a problem with your home computer. Our printers are working just fine.”

Customer: “So, you’re not out of ink?”

Me: “No. Maybe you should have someone look at your computer’s settings.”

Customer: “Should I call the ink cartridge company again?”

Me: “I don’t think that will fix it.”

Customer: “Okay. I’ll call the ink cartridge company again. Thanks! Bye!”

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