As White As Our Sheets

| Durant, OK, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

Guest: “I think my room might be haunted.”

Me: “Excuse…me?”

Guest: “It’s haunted. Can I move to a new room?”

Me: “Um, yes. I can do that for you.”

Guest: “Could you check the new room first? Make sure there is no bad energy?”

Me: “I can try, sir…”

The Birds, The Bees, And The Brutally Honest

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

(A little boy is wandering around unattended, touching all the TVs.)

Me: “Where’s your mom or dad?”

Boy: “Well, my mom’s over there.” *points to mother*

Me: “Okay, why don’t you go over to her?”

Boy: “Yeah, sure. By the way, I don’t know who my dad is. My mom was a hooker.”

Stealer’s Remorse

| Cambridge, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Top

(We sell, among other things, cards for a popular trading card game. A customer walks in, walks directly to the counter, and pulls a few cards out of his pocket.)

Customer: “I’d like to purchase these, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, purchase? Don’t you mean sell?”

Customer: “Yeah, I didn’t have the money at the time. However, I didn’t want anybody else to get them, so I just left with them. I’d like to pay for them now, thanks.”

Life In Plastic, It’s Fantastic

| Texas, USA | Bizarre

Customer: “I need help, anyone!”

Me: *rushing over* “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “That TV is showing bad things!”

(The TV in question is playing movie trailers on loop.)

Me: “Which trailer did you find offensive?”

Customer: “The one with the girl that is saying the girl is perfect! Nobody’s perfect!”

(At that moment, a trailer for a new Barbie movie comes on.)

Customer: *screaming* “That’s the bad movie!”

Supermarket, The Musical

| Gainesville, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Musical Mayhem

(It has been a quiet morning but the store has been filling up and it is very loud. My ears haven’t quite adjusted yet.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

(I begin scanning and bagging her items.)

Customer: *mumbling*

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

(The customer mumbles, and then begins singing something unintelligible. We play music in the store, so I thought she was singing along.)

Customer: *gradually increasing in volume* “No bag…no bag…NO bag…NO BAG!”

Me: “I’m sorry, are you singing, ‘No bag’?”

Customer: “Well, I told you a couple of times, but you went ahead and started bagging, so I decided to sing it!”

Page 1,637/2,627First...1,6351,6361,6371,6381,639...Last