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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    So Gullible It’s Hard To Believe

    | Auburn Hills, MI, USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer has used the store’s emergency exit, setting off the alarms. A husband and wife walk up to my cheese display while the alarms sound.)

    Wife:  “What’s that sound!?”

    Me: “Oh, that’s just the employee alarm.”

    Wife: “Employee alarm?”

    Me: “Yes, it tells the managers that one of the employees tried to escape the building, so they can retrieve them.”

    Husband: *chuckles*

    Wife: *serious, eyes wide* “Oh, that’s awful!”

    Me: “Don’t worry, by now they have already sedated them and locked them back in the closet with the rest of the off-duty employees.”

    Wife: “They lock up the employees?!”

    Me: “Only when they are not being used. It stops them from being late to work, you see.”

    Wife:  “Some one needs to do something to help these poor–”

    Husband:  “Dear, he is joking. That was a door alarm.”

    Wife: “Oh…are you sure?”

    Husband: “Yes.”

    Wife: *looks relieved and walks away*

    Husband: *laughs* “Thank you for that!”

    Me:  “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Try some cheese?”

    New at CES: Unending Serial Bus

    | Ventspils, Latvia | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I need an USB cable.”

    Me: “For which device?”

    Customer: “For my computer!”

    Me: “But you will plug it in somewhere?”

    Customer: “Yes, in my computer!”

    Me: “But what’s at the other end of the cable?”

    Customer: “What other end?”

    The Bear-est Signs Of Intelligence

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Top

    (The customer is buying one piece of jewelry. I’m all about the environment so I try to avoid giving out bags for small purchases.)

    Me: “Would you like a bag, or do you want to put it in your purse?”

    Customer: “My purse is fine.”

    Me: “Yay! You just saved a polar bear!”

    Customer: *eyes go wide* “Plastic bags… are made out of… polar bears?!”

    Who Needs Highs When You’ve Got Dyes

    | New York, NY, USA | Top

    (Note: I have light blue hair with dark blue tips.)

    Customer: *staring at me*

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Am I still high, or is your hair really like that?”

    Your Two-fer Just Went Poofer

    | USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I’d like a grande white mocha and a tall peppermint hot chocolate.”

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be $*.**.”

    Customer: “What? For one drink? That’s impossible!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, miss. I thought I heard you order two drinks. What did you order?”

    Customer: “A tall peppermint hot chocolate.”

    Me, to coworker: “Forget the white mocha.”

    Customer: “No! I still want it!”

    Me: “Oh, so you just wanted me to ring the two drinks separately?”

    Customer: “No! I want it, but I don’t want you to ring it up.”

    Me: *blank stare*

    Customer: “Oh. I guess I’m not getting away with it, am I?”

    Me: “Nope.”

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