Takes One To Call One

| Manhattan, NY, USA | Technology

(I am taking calls on Thanksgiving day.)

Customer: “Wow! A real person!”

Me: “Yes, sir! We’re staffed 24/7/365!”

Customer: “They make you guys work holidays. That’s terrible! Why would they do that?”

Me: *smiling to myself* “In case someone calls in for help.”

Customer: “What kind of work-a-holic would call in on a holiday?”

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| IYAMCHEAP.com | Uncategorized

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Ralph Waldo Emerson Would Be Proud

| Pennsylvania, USA | Bizarre

Patron: “Do you have any books about division?”

Me: “Sure, we have lots of books about arithmetic. One of them is bound to have what you’re looking for.”

Patron: “Good. The radio frequencies around my house interfere with my calculator, so I have to learn math again.”

Me: “Let me just show you those books.”

You Got The Wrong(est) Lover

| Medford, MA, USA | Books & Reading

(I work at a bookstore. It’s well known at work that my voice resembles my manager’s voice.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [bookstore], this is–”

Caller: “Hey, you little vixen, when are you coming home? I’ve got a bottle of champagne–”

Me: “Um, wait, I–”

Caller: “Ooh, I’m gonna–”

Me: *turning beet red* “Nancy! Your husband is on the phone!”

Related:
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

Like Explaining Red To The Blind

| Westerville, Ohio, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer calls to place an order for delivery. While entering the credit card information for payment, I need the zip code.)

Me: “Can I get the ZIP code to the billing address?”

Caller: “Where on the card is that?”

Me: “The ZIP code. It’s not on the card.”

Customer: “What is that? They always ask that, and it’s not on the card.”

Me: “Um, the ZIP code. It’s…it’s a number the Post Office uses to tell where to deliver mail to.”

(There’s a silence. I can’t tell if he’s thinking or if he’s just has no idea what’s going on.)

Me: “I’ll just put [local ZIP code] and see if it works.”

Customer: “Um, okay, yeah.”

Me: “Ok, it went through. We’ll see you soon.”

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