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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Caught Calling The Kettle Black

    | Australia |

    (Note: ‘Where The Wild Things Are’ has just been released at the cinema. When movies come out, the book usually sky rockets in popularity.)

    Me: “Good morning, how can I help you today?”

    Patron: “Hi, I was wondering if you have a copy of Where The Wild Things Are?”

    Me: “I’m sure we do, but I have to warn you that since it has just come out at the movies, there will probably be a waiting list.”

    (I look up the book, and sure enough there are 12 reservations)

    Me: “I’m sorry, there are currently 12 reservations in place. I can put you down for a reservation but you probably won’t get it for another 4-6 months.”

    Patron: “What? That’s ridiculous! It’s such an old book. Why are people suddenly interested?”

    Me: “Well, when a movie is made out of a book, people are suddenly interested in reading the book.”

    Patron: “That’s stupid. I don’t see why they should want to read it just because the movie has come out.”

    Me: “Why did you want to read it?”

    Patron: “Because the movie has just come out!”

    A Beeping Idiot

    | London, ON, Canada |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [cellphone company], how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Okay, now listen: this cellphone won’t make outgoing calls. What the h*** is wrong with it?”

    Me: “I’ll check to see if there are any blocks on it or anything wrong with the account.” *beep*

    Caller: “Did you hear that beep? It keeps doing that too!”

    Me: “Wait, are you calling me from that cellphone?”

    Caller: “Yes, why?”

    Thinking Outside The Box

    | Hahira, GA, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. Can I help you?”

    Caller: “I just picked up an order from you and it is completely wrong. It should not be so difficult to get an order right.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry. What was the name on your ticket and I’ll see if I can fix this for you.”

    (I pull the customer’s ticket and read the order to her.)

    Me: “Is that what you ordered?”

    Caller: “Yes, but I didn’t get it and my husband said he is very upset as well!”

    Me: “What did you get ma’am?”

    Caller: “Well there’s a large container of soup in here that I did not order and I haven’t even opened the Styrofoam boxes but I’m sure they’re wrong!”

    Me: “Could you open the boxes and check for me?”

    Caller: “Your d*** restaurant screwed up! There is no reason for me to open the boxes!”

    Me: “I’m just trying to find out what happened to your order.”

    Caller: “Fine!” *checks boxes* “Well the food in the boxes is right but I did not order any soup!”

    Me: “Don’t worry. The soup was placed in your bag by mistake. You weren’t charged for it.”

    Caller: “I’m still not happy about all this. I want to speak to a manager!”

    (My manager took the phone, and listened to the woman’s story.)

    Manager: “Just so I’m clear here ma’am, you’re angry because
    you got free soup?”

    Caller: *click*

    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
    Not Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2
    Not Thinking Outside The Box

    Good Music Isn’t Sharp, Sadly Doesn’t Apply To Customers

    | Springfield, MO, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Music School], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Do y’all sell leather fanny packs?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we are a music school. We do not carry anything like that. There used to be a handbag store in this location, but they have gone out of business.”

    Caller: “Are you sure you don’t sell leather fanny packs?”

    Me: “I am positive we don’t, as we are a music school.”

    Caller: “Well, could you go check?”


    | Pennsylvania, USA |

    Customer: “Hi, I would like 4 tickets for Avatar 3-D.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, we don’t have projectors capable of 3-D. We are showing Avatar in traditional 2-D. Is that alright?”

    Customer: “Oh, so no 3-D? Sure! Thanks for letting me know!”

    Me: “No problem sir. That will be $31.50.”

    (The customer pays for the 4 tickets.)

    Me: “Thank you very much. Enjoy your show!”

    Customer: “Thanks! Now where do we get our 2-D glasses?”

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