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    Talk Is Cheap, Texting However…

    | Utah, USA |

    (A customer walks up to our cell phone store looking very frustrated.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today, sir?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I have charges on my bill for text messaging, but I have unlimited texting. Why did you charge me?”

    Me: “Ok, well let me look up your account and take a look.”

    (I look up the account and notice that he activated his service two weeks ago and doesn’t have a balance yet.)

    Me: “Sir, your balance right now is at $0.00. You don’t owe us anything yet.”

    Customer: “Yeah, you said I do! You sent me a text message about it!”

    (He pulls out his phone and shows me a text that says he owes $29.95 worth of texting to premium girls-chat website.)

    Me: “We haven’t charged you, but that company charges you if you use their…services.”

    Customer: “So I have to pay 29 bucks?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “Well I’m going to delete her from my phone then, because she’s really expensive!”

    Rejection Incognito

    | New York, NY, USA |

    (A young boy walks in. It is February.)

    Me: “Hello, is there something I can help you find today?”

    Customer: “Hi, do you remember me?”

    Me: “No, sir, not really.”

    Customer: “C’mon, you’re going to tell me you don’t remember me? Remember, I came during the summer! Oh, I know why!” *takes off hat* “How about now?”

    Me: “Sorry, still nothing. Is there anything I can help you find though?”

    Customer: “No, I just came in to see if you remembered me.” *walks out dejected*

    Like Himself, His Answer Was Full Of Crap

    | Oregon, USA | Top

    Me: “Thanks for coming in today, sir. What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I can’t get this thing to work! I set up the password and now I can’t remember it.”

    Me: “Alright, that’s an easy fix. Let’s go to the site to reset your password.”

    (I guide the customer to the correct site and we get to the option to answer a secret question of the user’s choice. The question: ‘Am I a s***head?’)

    Customer: “Hmm…” *types ‘No’*

    Computer: “I’m sorry, the answer you have selected is incorrect. Please try again.”

    Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 2

    | Swansea, MA |

    Me: “Alright, is that everything, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I have a question.”

    (The customer holds up two packages of sliced ham.)

    Customer: “Does this have any pork in it?”

    Me: “Um, well, yes. Ham is a pork product.”

    Customer: “Both of them?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Okay, then I’m not getting them. I thought maybe you had the kind of ham that had turkey in it.”

    Related:
    Not To La-Boar The Point

    Byte-Size Counts

    | Zagreb, Croatia |

    Customer: “So, I have two hosting packages from you?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Are these packages 500 megabytes each?”

    Me: “That’s right!”

    Customer: “So, that’s like 1,000 megabytes?”

    Me: “Yes, they are.”

    Customer: “Is that like a gigabyte?”

    Me: “Well, yeah, I guess. Almost.”

    *short silence*

    Customer: “D***, am I big!”

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