Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver
    (1,752 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Keep The Paranoia, Keep The Stress

    | Florida, USA |

    (Our tea store hands out free samples in the mall in small two ounce cups to people walking by the store. An older woman walks by one day.)

    Me: “Would you like to try some tea, ma’am?”

    Customer: *smiling* “Why yes! I love tea! What flavors do you have?”

    Me: “Well, I have a relaxing green tea, and…”

    (At this point the woman’s expression changes and she cuts me off mid-sentence, waving her hand in my face.)

    Customer: “Oh forget it! I don’t want to relax! Forget it! You should be ashamed!” *storms off*

    From Lucifer To Lucky

    | Jamestown, NC, USA | Top

    (I’ve just rung up a customer’s items at the grocery store.)

    Me: “That will be $6.66, sir.”

    Customer:“Wait a minute!”

    (The customer proceeds to frantically search the candy displays. He comes back with a handful of various candies and a soda.)

    Customer: “Okay, now ring these up, because that is bad omen!”

    Me: “Your new total is…$7.77!

    Dude, Where’s My Brain

    | Eugene, OR, USA |

    (Two guys walk into our video rental store, find their video, and come up to pay.)

    Coworker: “What’s your phone number?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it’s [phone number].”

    Coworker: “Okay, so Chris [last name]?”

    Customer’s friend: “Holy s*** man, he knows your name!” *turns to my coworker* “Dude, what’s my name?!”

    Coworker: “…”

    Customer: “Dude, I have an account here.”

    Customer’s friend: “Oh. I’m going to go wait in the car…”

    The Perils Of Information Underload

    | Trondheim, Norway |

    (I’m a band host for a Norwegian band and am working at a music festival in Trondheim, Norway. An irate lady comes up to me.)

    Lady: “What the h*** is going on?”

    Me: “This is the Trondheim Rock Festival.”

    Lady: “But it’s in the middle of everything!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

    Lady: “I have to go all around it to get to the other side of the city center!”

    Me: “Yes, yes, you do.”

    Lady: “But this is outrageous! How can you do this without telling people on beforehand?”

    Me: “Well, there’s been a lot of publicity on TV, posters on the walls, and in the newspapers. It also takes place the same time each year.”

    Lady: “Hmph! I think you should get something done about this. You can’t expect people to remember, look at posters, read newspapers or watch TV all the time!”

    Butthead, The Incontinence Years

    | Loveland, CO, USA |

    (I notice a customer is standing in front of a freezer. After remaining there for several minutes, I get concerned.)

    Me: “Sir, can I help you?”

    (At this point, I notice that he’s urinated in the freezer. The customer turns around, zips up his fly, and then pulls his shirt over his head.)

    Customer: “I AM CORNHOLIO! I NEED TP FOR ME BUNGHOLE!” *runs away*

    Coworker: “They don’t pay us enough for this.”


    Page 1,628/2,072First...1,6261,6271,6281,6291,630...Last