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  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
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    Flipping Out

    | Georgia, USA | Technology, Top

    Me: “Thank you for calling [cable company]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “We just moved my grandmother’s TV and I think the cable has been disconnected at the outlet where we moved it. Could you send someone to reconnect it?”

    (Suddenly, the grandmother grabs the phone.)

    Caller’s grandmother: *yelling* “That is not what happened! The cable has been hooked to that outlet since the 70’s! You people just need to flip the little switch and turn it back on!”

    (The grandson gets back on the phone.)

    Caller: “I am so sorry. Please ignore her. I just need to set up an appointment for the technician to come out.”

    Me: “No problem. My grandmother can be like that too. I can have someone out on Tuesday.”

    Caller’s grandmother: *yelling in the background* “You are not listening! All they have to do is flip the switch! Don’t let them lie to you!”

    Caller: “Grams, when you moved the TV back in the ’80′s you had the cable disconnected from this outlet and reconnected at the other end.”

    Caller’s grandmother: “Now you’re lying! I’m going to make sure that I’m not here when they come out. This is ridiculous! Tell them not to come!”

    Me: “Tell her that our switch is broken here and we have to manually come out and flip it in her home. We’ll be there Tuesday.”

    (The grandson relays this information.)

    Caller’s grandmother: “Oh, okay then. I’ll see them Tuesday.”

    Caller, to me: “Bless you.”

    So She Thinks She Can Dance

    | Washington, USA |

    (A little old lady approaches me and a new employee while we’re standing in the movie theater lobby.)

    Customer: *dances*

    Me: “That’s nice, ma’am.”

    Customer: *continues dancing*

    Me: “Um…I don’t know how to respond to that.”

    Customer: *continues dancing*

    Me: “I’m sorry, I really don’t know how to respond.”

    Customer: “You could say ‘You’re a great dancer!’” *walks toward the
    concession stand*

    New guy: “Does that happen often?”

    Me: “No. Believe it or not, that’s actually a new one.”

    The Case Of The Choo-Choo Charlatans

    | Pennyslvania, USA |

    (I work as a photographer at a railroad station where people can dress up in old time clothes and sit in a prop made to look like a train.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, does the train still function?”

    Me: “Yes, if you go right outside you can buy tickets for the trains.”

    Customer: “No, no. I meant that one.” *points to our fake train prop*

    Me: “That’s just our background for the photos.”

    Customer: “Yes, but does it still function? Can I ride it?”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s a prop. It’s fake.”

    Customer: “But is it functional?”

    Me: “No, it’s fake. It’s connected to the wall.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s just dumb. I don’t know why you have it in here, then!”

    Sweaty Confetti

    | Colorado, USA |

    Customer: “I bought one of your bath balls with the confetti in it. It never dissolved and it just left a mess.”

    (He points to a bath ball with confetti.)

    Me: “We’ve never had a problem with that ball before, but I’ll keep that in mind. I would be happy to give you one without confetti for free so you can enjoy our products.”

    Customer: “Oh no, that’s not necessary. I just wanted to tell you guys about it so you can warn other people.”

    Me: “Thank you, I’ll definitely let everybody know about that.”

    Customer: “Yeah, you should! I mean, now I have confetti all over my house. On my floor, my carpet, my bed, even my couch and living room!”

    Me: “Wow, sounds like you had a lot of confetti!”

    Customer: “I did! It even got lodged in places.”

    Me: “Lodged in places?”

    Customer: “Yeah crevices, my crevices! I mean I have to dig it out of places. Anyway, I just came by to warn you guys.”

    (He starts heading out, and as he reaches the door he turns around.)

    Customer: “BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR CREVICES, GIRLS!”

    The Devil To Pay

    | Brookline, MA, USA |

    Me: “Your total is ***.”

    Customer: “Here is my coupon.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, this expired last week.”

    Customer: “What? What do you mean?”

    Me: “It expired last week.”

    Customer: “You witch devil! I can’t believe you changed the date!”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “You can magically alter dates, you devil!”

    Me: “I don’t think I have that sort of power.”

    (Upon hearing the commotion, my manager comes over.)

    Customer, to my manager: “You have a witch devil here! I’m going to have to bring the lord into this!”

    (The customer pulls out a bobble head Jesus and puts in on my counter.)

    Customer: “I will return when the date of this coupon is the correct date!”

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