Definitely Not On The DIY Channel

| Sydney, Australia | Family & Kids

(I work at a kids clothing store and a customer comes in with his wife. He is holding his newborn baby.)

Customer: “Look what we made!”

With Great Money Comes Fiscal Responsibility

| Quebec, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me? My 13-year-old son went to your store last night and spent over $200.”

Me: “Okay, and what is the problem?”

Customer: “Well, no one asked him for ID.”

Me: *confused* “Well, did he buy anything that requires him to be a certain age?”

Customer: “No, but he spent $200 and he’s only 13 years old. No one asked him for his ID!”

Me: “So, I should have asked him for ID and then declined to sell something to him because he’s a teenager?”

Customer: “Exactly. I’m shocked that your store doesn’t seem to have a policy about this.”

Me: “Ma’am, how did your son pay for what he bought?”

Customer: “Cash, of course. He’s way too young to have a debit or credit card.”

Me: “So you allowed your son to spend a Friday evening at the mall with $200 cash on him, but you’re blaming our store because he spent it?”

Customer: “Pretty much, yes.”

Me: “Ma’am, if he wasn’t buying anything he was too young to buy, I couldn’t decline the sale because of his age, as that would be discrimination.”

Customer: “Well, I’m pretty sure there are laws against it. I’ll be getting back to you.”

Eau De Bahamas

| Boston, MA, USA | Uncategorized

(I am walking by a small selection of candles our store holds.)

Customer: “Honey! Vacation! It smells like vacation!”

(Now I’m curious and walk over.)

Me: “Sir, what fragrance do you have there?”

Customer: “VACATION!” *beams*

The Son You Wish You Had

| Concord, NH, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

(I am a greeter for the line to get pictures taken with Santa. A young mother and her two-year-old walk in.)

Me: “Hi! How are you folks doing today? Some little guy sure is adorable!”

Mom: “Hi! Oh, thanks! He looks just like Justin Bieber!”

Me: “Er…congratulations?”

This Spud’s Obviously Not For You

| Wisconsin, USA | Uncategorized

(I am working at the produce department.)

Customer: “These potatoes smell like dirt.”

Me: “Well, of course they do ma’am. Potatoes grow in the ground.”

Customer: *shocked* “That is just disgusting. What kind of potatoes do you people buy?!”

Me: “Regular ones?”

Customer: *drops the potatoes on the ground and storms out*

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