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    Hasn’t Quite Nailed The Reason For The Purchase

    | New Zealand |

    Customer: “Hello.”

    Me: “Hello, is there anything you’re after?”

    Customer: “Yes, you know that stuff that’s a bit like nail polish, and you put it on your child’s nails to stop them biting them. Do you stock it?”

    Me: “Yes, actually we do. I brought some for my sister the other day. Her daughter bites her nails. Would you like me to show you where it’s located, or just give you directions?”

    Customer: “Show me.”

    (We walk to the aisle.)

    Me: “Here you go. We have two brands.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’ve tried both of those.”

    Me: “Did either of them work?”

    Customer: “No, my son didn’t like the taste of them.”

    Height Insight

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    (A customer is getting a suit jacket fitted. She is rather short.)

    Me: “Okay, may I have your height?”

    Customer: “Height? What’s that?”

    Me: “How tall are you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes…height. Of course. I think I’m, like, 5’12″?”

    Me: “Okay, so about six foot?”

    Customer: “No, 5’12”. Didn’t I just say that?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. 5 feet 12 inches would be the same as six foot.”

    Customer: “Well, they’ve changed it since last I checked.”

    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 6

    , | Romania |

    (A customer comes in asking about a monitor. She needs convincing that it is brand new, and that we do not sell second hand.)

    Customer: “Where do I adjust the brightness and contrast ?”

    Me: “From the menu, like in a TV.”

    (I bring up the menu on the screen to show her.)

    Customer: “So, is that included in the price?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “The menu.”

    Me: “Yes. The menu comes with the price.”

    Related:
    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 5
    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 4
    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 3

    Living In Their Own Little Bubble

    | Mansfield, TX, USA |

    Me: “Front desk, this is [me].”

    Guest: “Is this the front desk?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

    Guest: “Is it okay to get in the hot tub?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. It is open 24 hours.”

    Guest: “Okay. I was just checking because there seem to be bubbles in it.”

    Me: “No, that’s normal.”

    Guest: “I’ll call you if it’s a problem.” *click*

    Someone Has Baggage

    | Valdosta, GA, USA |

    (The cashier calls me up to the register to check a price for a product that’s ringing up as more than the shelf tag indicated. I run to check, and report back.)

    Me: “Yes, sir. I’m sorry, it appears the sale sign was still up. But our system no longer recognizes the sale price. We’ll change the price for you.”

    Customer: “Have you ever had a bag placed over your head?”

    Me: “Um…no.”

    Customer: “Well, you’re fixing the price for me. So today’s not that day.”

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