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    Yukon See It On A Map, Part 3

    | USA | Uncategorized

    (A customer is trying to use a vending machine. It doesn’t work, so she comes up to me.)

    Customer:“Excuse me, my bills wont work. Can I exchange you for a five?”

    (I don’t carry any cash on the shop floor.)

    Me: “Sorry. All I have is this.”

    (I pull out a Canadian five dollar bill.)

    Customer: “What the heck is that?”

    Me: “It’s a Canadian bill.”

    (The customer continues to look confused.)

    Customer: “What’s Canadian?”

    Me: “It’s the country right above you. Canada?”

    (The customer looks up to the ceiling, perplexed.)

    Yukon Not Spend It
    Yukon Not Believe This Juan
    Yukon Spend It
    Yukon See It On A Map, Part 2
    Yukon See It On A Map

    No Reservations About Reservations

    | Hamburg, Germany | Uncategorized

    (The time is exactly 7:42pm.)

    Customer: “Hello. I’d like to make a reservation for two this evening, please.”

    Me: “Absolutely. What time will you be back?”

    Customer: “At a quarter to 8.”

    (I wait to see if this is a joke.)

    Me: “So, for right now?”

    Customer: *completely deadpan* “Yes.”

    This Refund Is Cut And Dried

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like to return these flowers.”

    Me: “Oh. Well, usually we don’t issue refunds for flowers. Can I ask what the problem is?”

    Customer: “She said no.”

    Me: “Let’s get you that refund.”

    (Stereo)Typing With A Laptop

    | West Palm Beach, FL, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I need to know how to lock my laptop. I picked it up the other day, and there were all these porn sites in the history! My son is seventeen. I told him to stop using it, but you know how they are at that age!”

    (I chuckle in agreement.)

    Customer: “Wait, how old are you?”

    Me: “Well, I’m just a couple years older myself.”

    Customer: “Well, you know what I mean!”

    A Hole In Your Thinking, Part 3

    | Silverdale, WA, USA | Uncategorized

    Customer: “I’d like Swiss cheese, please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We only carry American, Pepperjack, Cheddar, and a shredded Cheddar.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll take Provolone then.”

    Me: “Sir, I just told you. We only carry American, Pepperjack, Cheddar, and a shredded Cheddar. It is on the sign right here.”

    Customer: “Then I’ll have Swiss.”

    Me: “I think we have some in back. One moment.”

    (My manager takes the American cheese into the back room. He cuts holes in a few of the slices, and brings them back out.)

    Me: “Here you are. Swiss cheese.”

    Customer: “I knew you guys always hid some in back!”

    A Hole In Your Thinking, Part 2
    A Hole In Your Thinking

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