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    Too Cool For School (Of Thought)

    | Illinois, USA |

    Me: “Hey, how we doing today?”

    Customer: “I have a question.”

    Me: “Okay, what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “If  I buy a phone from you guys, do I still have to pay for the service?”

    Me: “Yes, we deal with the contracts for the providers.”

    Customer: “Oh. I thought you guys were cooler than that…”

    Op-tickle Fibers

    | Utah, USA |

    (I am in the middle of finishing the last download to fix a customers computer, but his internet keeps resetting.)

    Me: “Sorry the download didn’t work. Your internet reset again. We will have to try it again and hopefully it will finish this time.”

    Customer: “You know, if you want to speed this up, all you have to do is take the mouse, and kinda rub it over the download box.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, rub it over the download box?”

    Customer: “Yea you know? If you tickle the download box with the mouse it goes faster. I thought you would know that, being a Tech Support guy and all.”

    Imagine If It Had Been India…

    | Canada |

    Caller: “So, where are you located?”

    Me: “Canada.”

    Caller: “Oh my God! I’m speaking to Canada!”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: “Wow, you speak English really good!”

    Me: “Uh, thank you?”

    Caller: *yells to husband excitedly* “Hey Bobby! I’m speaking to a foreign country!”

    Can’t Vouch(er) For His Intelligence

    | Miami, FL, USA |

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Cheeseburger and a small coke.”

    Me: “Alright, your total is $2.99.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Your total is $2.99, sir.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. It’s free!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I won some of your scratch off things and got a free cheeseburger and small coke!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, you should have said that sooner. Well, give me the coupons then.”

    Customer: “I had to bring them?”

    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 3

    | Brisbane, Queensland, Australia |

    Me: “Welcome, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, what’s the time in the UK now?”

    Me: “Its 9pm. They’re ten hours behind.”

    Customer: “Oh, so if I call the UK in another half hour, what time will it be?”

    Me: “It’ll be 9:30pm.”

    Customer: “You mean if half an hour passes here, it will also be half an hour later there?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: *surprised* “Oh! So that’s how it works?”

    Related:
    No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 2
    No Fortitude For Longitude
    No Aptitude For Latitude

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