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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Totally, Like, Aguamenti

    | Lawrenceville, NJ, USA | Books & Reading, Uncategorized

    Customer: “I’d like to get a new copy of this book.”

    (The customer puts a very wet Harry Potter book on the desk.)

    Customer: “It got wrecked and I really want to finish it.”

    Me: “No problem. How did you ruin it?”

    Customer: “It was very good…”

    *pause*

    Me: “…and?”

    Customer: *slightly sheepish* “I was reading it in the shower.”

    Related:
    Totally, Like, Excruciatus

    Let Me Just Go Check In The Back-terium

    | Rockland, MN, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Your Stilton doesn’t have enough blue cheese in it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We should be getting some more in tomorrow if you’d like to come back.”

    Customer: “Can’t you just go in the back and put more penicillin in it or whatever?”

    Fritzl Be One Of Those Days

    , | Morgantown, WV, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

    Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [fast food]. What would you like today?”

    Customer: *stares wide-eyed for a few moments* “Well, aren’t you the most adorable creature I have ever seen!”

    Me: “Thank you, sir. Can I interest you in our special today?”

    Customer: “I could just steal you and take you home in my wallet to live in my basement! My wife doesn’t like the basement, but it can be quite homey!”

    Me: “That’s nice, sir.”

    Customer: “Hurry! Into my wallet before anyone else decides to steal you!”

    Bad Jokes Are Music To Their Ears

    | Mountain View, CA, USA | Musical Mayhem, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hey, do you guys carry any mandolins?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “How about…” *dramatic pause*Wo-mandolins?”

    Me: “No.”

    (The customer leaves with a grin on his face.)

    Next customer: “Really?”

    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 4

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Uncategorized

    (I am working remote control to reinstall and configure a laptop. The customer asks if I am going to install a printer.)

    Me: “Ma’am, what kind of printer is it?”

    Customer: “It’s a [printer model].”

    Me: “Let me look in the driver folder. Ah yes, here it is. I will start up the install program.”

    (The program is running, the drivers are being installed. The program now changes screen with the message, ‘PLEASE PLUG IN THE PRINTER AND POWER IT UP’.)

    Me: “Please plug in the printer and turn it on.”

    Customer: “Do you send the printer over remote control?”

    Related:
    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 3
    Not Remotely Intelligent, Part 2
    Not Remotely Intelligent

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