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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Not A Good Uniform Response

    | FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (I work at a movie theater, where the dress code calls for black work pants, black sneakers, and our uniform-polo shirt that everyone wears.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, how are you doing tonight?”

    Customer: *dramatically feigning surprise* “Oh, what was that? I’m sorry; I was distracted by your disgustingly revealing clothing.”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “You know, I see this more and more with young ladies today. You’re at work for God’s sake; you’re not here to recruit some ‘johns’ for your night-job!”

    Me: “Excuse me, but that is totally uncalled for. I’m wearing the same uniform as everyone else here.”

    Customer: “Your attitude is disgusting too, of course.”

    Me: *trying to smile* “Your theater is to the left. Enjoy your movie.”

    Customer: “I’m going to talk to your manager about you before I leave!”

    Me: “Yes, thank you, ma’am.”

    Customer: “And lose the attitude!”

    Me: “Yes, thank you, ma’am.”

    (She did end up writing a letter to corporate, saying I was ‘a rude strumpet, and completely offensive.’ Luckily, my managers and I had a good laugh over it and printed out. It’s still tacked up in the employee room to remind us that the customer isn’t ALWAYS right.)

    Trying To Get Bread Without Any Dough

    | Australia | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (I am alone at the tills of the bakery I work at. A friendly looking middle-aged lady comes up to me and I smile and greet her.)

    Me: “Hi! ”

    Customer: “Hello.”

    Me: “What can I do for you today?”

    Customer: “Well, I’ve just been down at the [Bakery franchise] store in my local mall and they were telling me you have a coupon deal to get a free loaf.”

    Me: *thinking she wants more details* “Yes, that’s absolutely right; we do have that deal. All you have to do is buy six tarts—”

    Customer: “Oh, no, they already told me about it there. I’d just like to get it, please.”

    Me: “No problem. Please give me a moment to find it. I haven’t had the chance to put one of these through yet.”

    (I start quickly looking through the copious buttons on our till. The customer looks a little frustrated but waits for me to find it.)

    Me: “There we are! So all I need now is your coupon and I can go box your tarts and slice up your loaf for you.”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a coupon with me.”

    (I’m a little a loss here after the conversation we’d just had, and I’m thinking perhaps I’d misunderstood her intentions.)

    Me: “Well, we will have that deal right up to Christmas so whenever you want to come and grab it we can help you out.”

    Customer: “Oh, but I want it today.”

    Me: *wishing I wasn’t the only person out front* “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t put the sale through without a coupon.”

    Customer: “It’s okay, though. I have it in my car.”

    Me: “Oh that’s all right, then. I’d be happy to slice your loaf for you while you go and get it.”

    Customer: *looking suddenly very irritated* “I don’t want to go all the way back to my car! It’s all the way on the other side of the mall. I don’t have time for that. Can’t you just give me the deal?”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but without the coupon you can’t get the loaf for free.” *trying to diffuse the tension* “However, there is still a price reduction when you buy those two items together so it still comes in a bit cheaper.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t give me the loaf?!”

    (I start trying to explain to her the basics of how a coupon works but she cuts me off.)

    Customer: “Why should I have to show you my coupon?! I should just have to say that I have it.”

    Me: “But that way everyone could just claim that they had one and get out products for free.”

    Customer: “But it’s in my car!”

    Me: “And again I will be happy to collect your items and keep them here while you go and grab your coupon.”

    (She looks at me furiously for a minute as if I’m being the unreasonable one.)

    Customer: “Fine! I’ll go and get it all the way in my car!”

    (She stormed off with her trolley. Strangely enough, that customer did not return with her coupon that day. So either she was just trying to wrangle a free loaf of bread from me or she seriously needed to learn how a coupon works.)

    Sadly This Behavior Is Old News

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    Customer: “One copy of the local paper, please.”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be [amount].”

    Customer: “I just want to look at it for a minute.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, our newspapers are not for browsing. You will need to purchase it.”

    Customer: “When the h*** did that become a rule?”

    Me: “People were clipping coupons, marking up, and otherwise rendering the papers unsalable, so management—”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not going to do that! I’m here to buy gifts. Just give me the d*** paper.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t do that. I’ll be happy to hold a copy for you until you’re done shopping and ready to be rung up.”

    Customer: “You f****** little b****. Whatever happened to ‘the customer is always right’? I’m one of your best customers! Get me your manager!”

    (I call my manager to the counter. The customer continues to berate me, at one point telling me she hopes I burn in h***.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Your employee will not let me merely look at a newspaper. I came in here today intending to purchase gift cards for my entire family for the holidays, but if this is the kind of customer service I get, I will take my business elsewhere!”

    (My manager looks at this customer, and I can see the moment he picks business model over me.)

    Manager: “Your behavior towards my employee was very rude, but given the holiday season, I’ll let it slide. Here is a newspaper. Please bring it to the checkout with your purchases when you’re ready.”

    (The customer walked off with her paper, and I was graciously given five minutes in the back to ‘get myself together.’ Two hours later, the cafe employees brought the news that the customer clipped three coupons out of the paper, spilled water on it, and left without buying anything.)

    It’s A Dry Pizza State

    | Billings, MT, USA | Food & Drink

    (I am working the graveyard shift at a gas station. Company policy has us lock up the beer case at 1:45 AM as the law is to stop serving/selling alcohol after 2 AM. It’s 2:10 and a very drunk customer walks in and straight to the beer case.)

    Customer: “Why is the beer locked up?!”

    Me: “Sorry, we stop selling at 1:45.”

    Customer: “Noooo!”

    (He hangs head and walks over to the frozen pizza section. Just as he reaches for the handle the lights in the freezer turn off because it started defrosting.)

    Customer: *looks at me and starts crying* “I can’t buy pizza either?!”

    A Small Sample Of Big Stupid

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (In the local mall there is a kiosk that only opens during the holidays which sells products such as smoked meats, cheeses, and the like. I always stop by there to get a few things when they open and am a customer while this is happening.)

    Customer: “Could I get another one of these? This one is open.”

    (She hands the employee a bottle of honey mustard that is marked ‘sample.’)

    Employee #1: “Oh! I’m sorry, ma’am, that’s the sample bottle. The unopened ones are right down there on the other side of the counter.”

    Customer: “Oh, thanks!”

    (She grabs an unopened bottle and starts to walk off with it.)

    Employee #1: “Ma’am, you have to pay for that.”

    Customer: “But it’s a sample.”

    Employee #1: “No, it’s not. You have to pay for it.”

    Customer: “But that one’s marked sample.” *she points to the sample bottle* “Samples are free.”

    Employee #1: “Yes, that one is. That’s the bottle we use to get samples out of. We have it marked so we don’t accidentally try to sell it to a customer.”

    Customer: “But she’s getting one!”

    (She points to me and the bottle of honey mustard that I have in my hand.)

    Employee #1: “She is, ma’am, and she’s paying for it.”

    Customer: “Paying?”

    Employee #1: “Yes. With money.”

    Customer: “So I have to pay with money to get this? It isn’t free?”

    Employee #1: “No. It isn’t free.”

    Customer: “Oh… Well, I don’t want it then, but thank you.”

    (She sets the bottle of mustard down on the counter and walks away without further issue.)

    Me: “What just happened here?”

    Employee #2: “Oh, did the crazy sample lady come back? I’ve worked this kiosk for three years now and she does this every year. You’d think she’d have figured out that that’s not how samples work by now.”

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